April 2022


@April 30, 2022

i cried about an ex with a new woman of interest: it’s received with kindness and connection. I tell Emily, I’m a romantic but not with you. That’s unfair. We talk more. I tear up over Cata and how she broke my heart. Em sees my struggle to get close. We say goodbye, she puts my hand on her butt, I tackle her back inside. Good sex. My mind felt this information was about Cata and I, but the experience of sharing it was about Em and I

I was selected for the Studio! 1/15 from over 500 essays. I’m so excited that I canceled travel in June.

@April 30, 2022 9:00 PM (CDT)

  • Rocky Horror Picture Play with Emily
    • Transvestite from Transylvania
    • Humans believe we’re evolved but at our core, we just want to sleep with everything, which causes broken marriages - the message of the play
    • Audience participation: water guns and newspapers, bread, sponges, graffiti

@April 30, 2022 4:39 PM (CDT)

  • I use GPS in my neighborhood just to not feel so damn lonely

@April 30, 2022 9:22 AM (CDT)

Placemaking 1/100: a walk for coffee

  • I exit my building, step onto the sidewalk and the little foot traffic surprises me. It’s Saturday - only four people in line at Juiceland. A father requests a box. The boy either likes role playing or he has a soccer game today. He wears a full uniform, with knee high blue socks pulled over his protruding shin guards. He stomps in circles fascinated by the crackle his soccer cleats against the sidewalk. He’s number 05. Both father and son grow their hair long and wear Herschel caps, likely made from hempseed or some other bio-friendly material. The perforated boxes arrive. The father packs nine premade juices. I’m resentful for when I was ten (and eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen) and played soccer we drank water—Occasionally, when Eric Koolingkamp’s dad who was a pilot and traveled the world and once introduced Eric to Wayne Gretzky brought’em, Gatorade. This boy’s team gets $8 juices from Juiceland.
  • “You know what a chipotle is? It’s a burrito store owned by McDonalds” - father educates son and unknowingly me
  • Tiny rain drops strike my phone. Each droplet magnifies the array of pixels of my phone screen. My tapping fingers tilt and shift the screen, causing the pixels to strobe between their native RGB colors of the light-emitting diodes at the core. Underneath the droplets, my words distort and dance. It’s a party. Above the droplets, my screen is like a lite-brite and with each new raindrop an image is forming from the red, blue, green LEDs. Will it be a boat? A clown? I lack patience and swipe it clean before I find out.
  • On the corner of 6th and Waller, a building that looks like it was once a farmer’s marketplace is now abandoned. It’s been abandoned for years. The doors and windows are bared up and covered by countless graffiti anarchists who left their stamp like a Yorkshire Terrier pissing on every stoplight. Also posters that read—NFTs For The Real World—By George—RISE ABOVE YOU—and other messages that I can’t read, only AI can read their QR codes. Above me the plank awning wraps around the corner; sitting here I fear wooden boards will fall onto me, but the awning serves as my umbrella. The building still has a purpose in this world.
  • Underneath the charcoal muffler of a Chevrolet work van, I find two butted cigarettes twisted into the street, an orange peel with an oval sticker that reads KingsRiver Pacifico 3107, and a 1 pint Smirnoff Ice bottle. What I don’t find is tobacco nor liquor nor fruit of the orange.
  • I take a left on Navasota to see the line at Granny’s tacos 12 people wait. It’s worth it. Native tortillas that are thicken and warmed with scrambled egg and fried bacon
  • I overdressed, it’s 75 degrees and I want to take off a layer of clothing, but all this is under my sweatshirt is hairy chest. And my nipples, belly button, rib cage, heart, kidneys, millions of blood cells and muscle fibers, and everything else that regulates my temperature and recommends to me to take my sweatshirt off. I ignore it all. Cultural norms are more important to me.
  • Thirsty and hot, I walk faster. Easy Tiger is quiet. I order a latte - iced. $6.77… a decade ago I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and still to this day I feel ashamed buying a coffee that costs more than a dollar. Money compounds, I know. And… I’m jared by a man who walks in —“We elected him. So what happens is the oligarchs… it’s your fault, your vote did this. And by the way, you should go and fight and die for it.” The two people (his friends?!?) passively nod their heads. I’m gonna guess they too are from Minnesota.
  • The barista shouts my name a second time. My coffee is on the counter, the ice melting. I wave to her to make sure she doesn’t throw it out — and I log on.. I walk back, strolling and slurping my way down the sidewalk.
  • @April 30, 2022 10:40 AM (CDT) Meta note, back at my apartment. On my mind was capturing specifics, asking what/how questions like how did this building become abandoned, and eavesdropping conversations. @April 30, 2022 10:49 AM (CDT) I edit once, the core focus is writing with a hint of aggression and engagement. Father and son have long hair becomes Father and son grow their hair long. It’s active. Tiny rain drops land on my phone becomes Tiny rain drops strike my phone. It’s aggressive.

@April 29, 2022

after fantom nearly cascading liquidations I’m retiring from defi. The edges are too small when I have to pay trading fees, bridging fees, and Impermanent Loss and the stresses are too big — risk/reward no longer there

@April 29, 2022 9:00 PM (CDT)

  • What is scary for me to say?
    1. Telling a friend that I’m judging them for something they did. I fear hurting them.
    2. Telling Emily I miss you, I wish we hung out last night, Come sleep over, and other phrases that construct a relationship outside of sex. I fear hurting her and I fear commitment.
    3. Telling a friend about my writing.

@April 29, 2022 6:00 PM (CDT)

  • A friend asked me how was Stephan King’s book On Writing. I didn’t read it, I told him. I paid $9.99 for the digital copy and never opened it. I hoard books.

@April 29, 2022 5:06 PM (CDT)

  • What/How questions and answers are much more imaginative than yes/no questions and Why questions which pretend to have an answer.

@April 29, 2022 3:00 PM (CDT)

Bob Doto Notes

  • Distillation is the information mining process. Bob mines for information specifically for his newsletter. He challenges us to take a single quote, save in an obsidian page, and write 2-4 article ideas at the bottom. This is a frame of mind.
  • Bob asks, “How do you want to feel when you’re distilling information? What position is your body in? What device are you using? How bright is the room?” (Ask these same questions with Capture, Organize, and Express)
  • Exercise: go to a cafe. mine the world for information. What piece of conversation do you overhear? How are the people interacting with the baristas? Choose one distillation and ideate articles for that. Write an atomic essay.
    • Michael Dean is so good at this. He calls this placemaking. My favorite clips of his —
    • One man stands out to me. Cross-legged against a building, with good posture and a scraggly beard, smoking a cigarette like he was posing for an album cover.
      On 38th Street.. outside a gift shop selling Big Apple T-shirts, I see shoulder-to-shoulder tourists, and I hear two radios within earshot— one mentioning Gordon Ramsey, the other, the Kremlin. It’s a culture blender. A full-on sensory assault. I lean right to avoid a pigeon flying at dangerously low altitudes. Then a teenager with silky hair sprints by my left. Someone coughs on my face and I don’t even notice. Sirens, kebab smoke, and cold air fill my nostrils.

      [... fuck me, they’re all too good... link]

      Crossing 42nd street, I look east at the exact moment another woman looks west— we exchange a direct glance in a crowed where no one is speaking English anymore.
      I’m standing stationary, looking down, logging the sight into my phone, parting a sea of approaching pedestrians.

      .... I want to quit writing. But I won’t! Instead I promise a new project for May: Placemaking ship 30 for 30.

@April 29, 2022 1:20 PM (CDT)

  • “bio-break” not bathroom break #vocabList

@April 29, 2022 10:15 AM (CDT)

  • I have a story about escape rooms. I went to my first one with someone who owns one. And I got the idea of starting one in my hometown, as a family business. Those are the interesting pieces that I want to hear about. Everything else is secondary.

@April 29, 2022 9:08 AM (CDT)

  • 😬
  • I want to be around Marine and Phill more

@April 28, 2022

Sharing a picnic table with other writers

@April 28, 2022 9:35 PM (CDT)

  • Kayne West documentary - holy God it’s good
  • Kayne has such a clear vision and it takes over his life

@April 28, 2022 5:12 PM (CDT)

  • Raza says, Yukio Mishima’s ‘The Frolic of the Beasts’ is one of his favorite books. After he released his final book, he raided a military camp in protest, and when the cadets didn’t rouse to his ideals, he committed seppuku. I ordered the book, which is surprising because a month ago another friend recommended it but I didn’t even consider reading it. Back then, I was intrigued but when the conversation ended, I remembered all the other books I had to read. Raza infused the recommendation with a story and our conversation lived on.

@April 28, 2022 5:05 PM (CDT)

  • Sharing a picnic table with other writers

@April 28, 2022 2:34 PM (CDT)

Conversation with Dan and Brandon (his roommate from Penn)

  • Eva’s play pup - dog sitting for Brooklynites. A ranch in Austin? Shuttle service?
  • Cultural insights, In the Hasidic culture, woman don’t touch men. Jewish Law Office, the entire staff women besides the boss, a Jewish man who sat behind a desk and stroked his beard.
  • Asking Dan about little league, how does this compare to the mighty ducks?

@April 28, 2022 10:09 AM (CDT)

  • extolling #vocabList

@April 28, 2022 9:49 AM (CDT)

  • Beau facilitates a group in order to build a conversation. It’s never one offs, I made my point and now it’s time for someone else to make their point. After someone gives an insight, he asks the group, what does everyone think of that? Anyone disagree, agree, how can we build upon it?
    Crowd Work

@April 28, 2022 8:40 AM (CDT)

  • The Tower of Babel, Jordan Peterson
    • A society becomes hyper-conceptualize and hyper-orderly. They build a hyper-structure and it fragments from within. People don’t speak the same language. [Cliched language takes over. ]
    • When groups of people get so big, that the individual can’t see a way up the hierarchy, they begin to replace the transcendent and construct a utopia. They use language to abstract behaviors.
    • Too Big means too big not to fail.

@April 27, 2022

Emily says I’m hard to read. The only time she felt I cared was the Tao’s incident. That moment was scary for me. I felt stupid and dramatic. She felt care and love... And it makes me sad that I’m someone who other’s can’t read. I no longer am a
Poker Player
. | Second story: Podcast with Phil

@April 27, 2022 9:19 PM (CDT)

  • Victoria told Emily my doubts, I elaborate
  • “I’m sorry for those. What I was trying to say, I am not ready to commit, I don’t know if that’ll happen. I’m enjoying our dates and time together. That’s not fair to you and want you to know that.”
  • Emily likes that I’m a sweetheart and I’m reserved but not introverted

@April 27, 2022 7:00 PM (CDT)

  • I felt Envy lately, related towards a few writers. It’s wise to pause and reflect, okay I’m comparing, let’s accept where I am and the life I’ve been given and what not — but I also think the Envy too is wise. The Envy points towards my desires. And today I’m going to write more and check less twitter, gmail, geneva, and on and on.

@April 27, 2022 6:13 PM (CDT)

@April 27, 2022 4:05 PM (CDT)

  • “I had to make decision at a young age - right or wrong I had to step into the consequences” - Anthony Edwards

@April 27, 2022 2:00 PM (CDT)

  • Phil requested an impromptu video podcast, to record us having a conversation for 15 minutes. I said yes, never had done such thing. I appreciate the openness and the willingness to make art on the spot. We stumbled and were fake at times often and those are the most interesting parts.
    • Reminds me of Is Nathan Fielder Acting? — a few quotes to reflect on
      • The most interesting moments of someone is where the video clips don’t happen. That’s where we see a real human.
      • “Sometimes a more performance, exaggerated self can be more true to who you really are.”
        • How do I exaggerate myself in front of the camera to be uniquely me?
        • What parts of me want to perform on camera?
      • Bo Burnham: “I do think the perform version of yourself is not necessary false. Who you hope to be can be a more vulnerable truth than who you are afraid you may be.”
        • Who, on camera, do I hope to be? Who, on camera, does it feel risky to be?
      • “Larry David is the guy you see on curb your enthusiasm. Yes. Yes. Because that’s who I aspire to be. So everything else is an act.”
      • We’re all acting. Reality TV forces us to exaggerate our characters. But often our truest self lives within that.
  • @April 30, 2022 12:11 PM (CDT) ^ I’m super intrigued by this topic and exploring me in front of the camera
  • Potentially, register for Minimum Viable Video or Part-time Youtuber Academy

@April 27, 2022 10:20 AM (CDT)

  • thoughts swirl, like a galaxy of relationships, all gravitating towards me.
  • when someone is on your mind excessively, you have something to say. you pull the star closer by saying something.
    • at times this is simply writing a letter without sending

@April 26, 2022

Therapy Ended Today and we reflected on over 70 hours of therapy.


  • Kim reviewed 3 years worth of notes. The pattern in my speech: “in my head”, “stuck in my head”, and other phrases similar [she’ll email me exact quotes this week]
  • We identified real moments of change which is something I never did intentionally. I used to “update” Kim with what I called, meaningful moments of change. Doing this intentionally by comparing two similar situations was grounding and empowering.
    • Meta point: I urgently log realizations as if they are “moments of change”. In reality the thoughts aren’t the change — moments of change are how did you act (with another human) in the world which was different than before.
  • My therapy journey is perfectly bookended. Dani and Emily.
  • In the closing session, I felt anger at many people who delayed my process, perhaps the biggest influences to that were my parents. But also my brothers, my therapist, my close friends. I could get more granular but I’ll stop there.
  • In 2017 - after a misdeed, I shamed myself, criticized, “should”, shouldn’t’ve”, and the like. I was stupid. I’m keenly aware of a shitty feeling after a misdeed. But I struggled to feel that. Now - after a misdeed, I uncomfortably feel guilty. I likewise reflect but now it’s from a place of care and love. How can I show love to amend my wrong?
    • Three big moments of change with guilt: Once I checked an ex’s instagram through shady third party software; I felt bad and I criticized myself. Kim asked, do I feel guilty? I did but was unaware. Another time I went behind the back of someone I worked with and I amended by asking all parties to collaborate together (that was so difficult). And recently I shared vulnerable information about a friend that wasn’t mine to share. I amended by writing a confession and apology letter which I then felt didn’t need to be sent.
    • My capacity for feeling guilt is growing and my agility to redirect it is wisening.
    • Guilt and Love are the same thing. You show love by feeling guilt.
  • Cata gifted me an understanding of self-inflicted pain — a state of being that I now I eradicate as quickly as possible.
  • Perspective change: therapy isn’t a consistent emotional maintenance rather it’s in seasons. #StoryTold

@April 26, 2022 10:21 AM (CDT)

  • I joined Daniel Vassallo’s small bets course simply to articulate my ideas around it more clearly
  • zero people on camera are female

@April 25, 2022

now Elon owns twitter I will tweet more, with unadulterated free-speech the culture demands for artists who are naked with their words

@April 25, 2022 5:25 PM (CDT)

  • Connection is based on emotions, not reactions

@April 25, 2022 5:06 PM (CDT)

  • From today’s feedback gym — a guide for critical feedback
    • Early on introduce personality, some specific, broader line wacky comment
    • Use subjective statements
      • I worry …
      • I dare you
      • This sentences bores me
      • This sentence confuses me
    • highlight what to do less of and what to do more of. “get me more of this...”
    • if you don’t understand on first read, that’s the writer’s fault — tell them

@April 25, 2022 4:58 PM (CDT)

  • Cam tip for great video footage: begin and end the recording 1-2 mins before and after “the special moment”

@April 25, 2022 3:00 PM (CDT)

  • Elon buys twitter log

@April 25, 2022 9:23 AM (CDT)

  • Before WOP, I hoarded my writing, stocking up on words and ideas. #MetaphorIdea

@April 24, 2022

Disconnecting from nerves, we wanted to hang out but I pushed away and she too, “I‘d invite you to sleep over” - I’m sad we had a connection failure and that’s okay. Within disconnection is the opportunity to connect.

@April 24, 2022 10:00 PM (CDT)

  • We’re disconnected and what’s exciting about that is how it’s an opportunity to connect.

@April 24, 2022 2:00 PM (CDT)

  • WOP teacher: ask J if his children are interested in a tutor (offer for free). watch for children interested in writing.

@April 24, 2022 11:19 AM (CDT)

  • Lift weights to fill out a button up shirt

@April 24, 2022 10:24 AM (CDT)

  • the women’s empowerment movement is great, I support it. But I beg you, please don’t sustain from shaving your armpits, you beautiful women


@April 24, 2022 9:17 AM (CDT)

  • tiny woman, enormous german shepard
  • Lively

@April 24, 2022 9:10 AM (CDT)

  • Log, infuse the mundane with meaning
  • Tell a story about the mundane

@April 24, 2022 9:05 AM (CDT)


@April 23, 2022

Gym for 10 mins just show up, $10 car wash

@April 23, 2022 6:57 PM (CDT)

  • Some of [[my virtues]]: willingness to be vulnerable, dedication to building a family, commitment to interests, an open book filled with honest words, my face

@April 23, 2022 6:52 PM (CDT)

  • I paid amazon $20 for a copy of Gladiator. It’s a perfect background movie.

@April 23, 2022 6:49 PM (CDT)

  • My friend lands in 2 hours. He’s had 5 connecting flights today... I am excited to meet him but. I want to offer him space to sleep and recover.
  • @April 23, 2022 9:47 PM (CDT) I picked up Tommy - the universe wants like minds to shake hands and ideas
  • We ate at Velet Tacos. We agreed the fried rice taco is a must taste. Tommy ordered his dairy-free.
  • @April 24, 2022 9:27 AM (CDT) I write from a bench by the river in order to give Tommy space to wake up, shower, and realize he’s in frickin Austin. Ever since Grayson hosted me with a guest house, I welcome guests with space. That’s wealth. And after 48hours of packing up your life and riding FIVE different airplanes it’s priceless
  • @April 24, 2022 1:57 PM (CDT) Conversation nuggets from tacos
    • press a button and get nutrition from photosynthesis - Tommy
    • When you lack a degree, you work harder to survive - reminds me of my friend Grayson
    • My dad is a better father than I’ll ever be, he’ll do anything for me like drive me 18 hours across the country
    • Poker became popular from a man named Chris Moneymaker.
    • Recruit kids to write
    • Community is built around (1) shared language and (2) a willingness to add to the conversation and ideas.
    • Stories Told: (1) Whale shark sun burn. (2) Why I want to learn Russian.
    • Tommy’s feedback method is genius: look for the pattern in a student’s writing. Point it out once then tell them to look for it throughout their essay
    • I have a big range from tinker to poker to novels to dance to yoga
  • The inception —

#FeelsRisky Tommy’s personal space?

Upon review, I felt guilt and decided to check it with Tommy

@April 23, 2022 6:46 PM (CDT)

  • Anthony Edwards in an interviewed talked about how to defense a player on the other team. He called him, not by his name, but by #15. “We gotta box #15 out.” Calling him #15 shows an opposing force, he’s the enemy, he doesn’t deserve a name.

@April 23, 2022 1:03 PM (CDT)

  • Last night a friend asked, do I want to work for WOP? David said WOP is transitioning into a new phase, one that will begin teaching high school students writing. I dream of teaching online writing and WOP frameworks to local students. I love education, children, and writing. I easily relate with kids. If I walk into a Christmas party of 30 people, I’m on the ground playing with legos or ... in 2019 I attended a wedding in Monterey Mexico. Everyone spoken Spanish fluently enough to have adult conversations, expect me and seven children. While the adults socialized, I fled around the reception hall, escaping the fourteen tiny hands. We played tag. I’m most myself when playing tag. Besides relating with children, I’m obsessed over self-education for a decade. In poker, it’s educate yourself or you another player will come along and take away your living. And so I obsessed to put food in my stomach. And now writing, writing must be playful and imaginative otherwise I’m bored. In order to rescue me from my own boredom, I ask questions about writing. How did Simone twist my expectations so simply? How did Michael infused every sentence with a visual? So do I want to work for WOP? Yes, in a way that only I can.
  • How to achieve that?
    • I shy away from my poker past when I’d best integrate that knowledge into my teaching. Here are a few models —
      • The outcome does not means your decision was best. In poker, you make decisions and sometimes win out of luck. This fools many in believing it was the best decision. The professional isn’t skewed by the results. He’s brutally honest to himself. He admits when he got lucky.
      • GTO. Rock-paper- scissors, how to ensure someone cannot have an edge on you.
      • Unknown Future, Many possible outcomes. Make a decision, sometimes you’ll win, other times not. That’s nature.
    • My virtues to cultivate
      • Connection, Emotional honesty, Presence
      • Unique Experience, Travel, Activities
    • What are experiences to practice and build upon?
      • Fly to Denver. Teacher shadow Kuks?
      • Summer Counsellor?
      • Yoga teacher training
      • BBBS. Ask him if he wants to write. Influence ___ (Robert’s grand-niece to write)
    • To Write
      • Write about WOP concepts applying to children. Children writing online. How to make fun. How to play and use the imagination.
      • Education
      • Languages, Language Learning
      • About Writing... building out the WOP framework

@April 23, 2022 12:50 PM (CDT)

  • A season to respond to newsletters. This season is good when you’re sending one too.

@April 22, 2022

Double Date w/ Vic, Nate, & Emily

@April 22, 2022 6:44 PM (CDT)

  • Notes from coffee today
    • dark side: following onlyFans lady for “comedy”, not sex of course
    • Poker Stories Told
      • black Friday. 90% net worth. only thought return to school. after graduating learning of another option. poker refugees. Mexico
      • resisted writing about it because exit was traumatizing
      • Steroids, not talking limitless (although some players took the Mexican version called modafinil who weren’t using it for narcolepsy but rather to increase the digit in their bank account)
    • Stories Told
      • [[Miami 2022]]
        • I’m still friends with a lot of poker players who are deep into crypto. So although I’m not, I learn through them. A few decided to attend BTC conference, sounded like an adventure, great people watching. But it was surprisingly normal. If I played god and picked you up by your shirt collar and dropped you down in a conference and asked, what conference are you in? I’m not sure you’d guess correctly. My theory on why that is: BTC is more business and government. ETH Denver, however, I imagine to be futuristic and full of autistic.
    • To give critical feedback or another perspective on an adventure: my worry is ...
    • Ben is a beast, he follows his interests towards helping others and building projects, like a building a rube goldberg machine in his friend’s garage, or starting a tshirt company
    • Seasons of Writing [[Essay Ideas]]

@April 22, 2022 6:26 PM (CDT)

  • Oh dear, my friend has FIVE flights to land in Austin. That’s a record.

@April 22, 2022 6:08 PM (CDT)

  • Michael Dean, this is a great story to explain WOP Writing Prompt #5: “Your Writing System”
I want to share what skating is, how special our community is, because we feel like outsiders. We all find this mutual sense of belonging in shaping a community by what we do. And what we do is we individuate ourselves, we separate ourselves, and then share it back. I take, whatever, I take Mark, Mark started dark side [a skateboard trick]. So I take that and add my own bit because I had done Casper slide, so I can pop off a block. I take these elements and I help for myself to separate myself and give it back into the rest of community grow. And then I feel more invested part of the infrastructure. When I went down there I tripped out because I don't come out in public a lot. I really don't. And being back down there — this was my first time in Barracks which is awesome — and being down there and all these amazing guys like I can't do what they do. And they come up to me and they just say thank you and I'm tripping out because, man thank you for taking what I did and doing what I could never imagine because I still feel invested in that. And so what have I taken from skateboarding is — look I want a bunch of contests and I traveled on how the good things that you could ever hope to have happen that stuff comes and it goes — but the thing that lasts is the thing that keeps growing it's alive: and that's what the community is doing. And that's something that I have. And it comes from an ethos of sharing and feeling connected with people through what you do. Rodney Mullen on sharing in order to feel connected to the community

@April 22, 2022 2:13 PM (CDT)

  • man same size as the table, straddles the bench, licking a blue sucker.

@April 22, 2022 12:16 PM (CDT)

  • Two students from WOP are abrasive. I talk to others as if this is a bad thing, which is silly because when that bluntness is directed at other students I see celebration. I even see some students requesting it. And I too want to be attacked. Their bluntness is simply that, they attack with a blunt sword. As they swing, I duck and dodge without worry of harm. My opponent exposes to me how he moves. And I refine my argument, I refine my words so that with every swing of the sword, they twist and bend and slither out of the way, until they bite my opponent on the ass. Poison spreads. Ideas win — unless you forget their sword is blunt. Then you’ll die and never share an idea again. [[Metaphor Idea]] [[Potential Essay]]

@April 22, 2022 8:27 AM (CDT)

  • Today at yoga, I found forgiveness towards Emily. I want to connect again, even though part of me knows it won’t work

@April 21, 2022

Amy Deep Tissue Massage (after a year of half-ass ones) (the variance of ace of cups)

@April 21, 2022 7:41 PM (CDT)

  • loss of connection with another is loss of connection with yourself

@April 21, 2022 6:17 PM (CDT)

  • sunset projects that take up bandwidth without progressing

@April 21, 2022 5:59 PM (CDT)

  • Newsletters engage your audience with your work.
  • ^ do this in seasons. when do you wish to engage with others about your writing?

@April 21, 2022 5:52 PM (CDT)

  • My playbook for happiness, as of @April 21, 2022 5:53 PM (CDT)
    1. satisfice.
    2. I will quit studying and reflecting on a subject when I know more than 99% of people about it. I will accept that’s good enough. And instead, with that learned skill I’ll exploit world for good’s sake.

    3. decide.
    4. Any decision is better than indecision.

    5. seasons of work.
    6. Writing online is overwhelming with newsletters, essays, twitter, atomic essays, giving feedback and on and on — unless you parse these into seasons. Netflix releases full seasons of TV, then goes away for a year or two. Do the same with writing. I declare I’m in an atomic essay season, with conditions of travel and storytelling. In two months, I’ll join Michael in the writing studio, and I’ll be in an essay season, writing an adventure. In May I enter a season that I want to interact with other online writers — so I’ll send out my newsletter and give a lot of feedback.

    7. physically strong.
    8. It feels good to look good naked. And I don’t, feel good nor look good. But with that future on my mind, it does feel good being a weakling in the gym. A matter of time until I wear one of those shirts that expose my nipples

    9. connection!
    10. Currently I pause to notice when I’m disconnected from loved ones. In AOA,, I’m learning the difference in connected and not. It’s palpitating.

@April 21, 2022 5:47 PM (CDT)

  • Matt gives great line-by line feedback because he offers many options to rewrite a phrase
    1. Feedback Options / Types

    2. Reactions: +1, -1 (good/bad) ... followed by CRIBS
    3. Line Edits: reduce or rephrase
    4. Questions: questions encourage new avenues.
    5. Opinions: subjective statements

@April 21, 2022 11:26 AM (CDT)

  • Visual writing is easy today. Here was one I enjoyed writing —
    • An essay, for me, is something that lives with me for two weeks.
    • How to add a hint of aggression?
    • An essay, for me, is something that moves into my home and interrupts my daily schedule. For two weeks, every conversation I have is about this essay and it’s sloppiness, every time I leave the house he follows me, and even he’ll visit me during sex. Fuck! So daily, I write and rewrite and try again until he’s ready to be published and kicked out of my house. I promise you, if you don’t know, sex is much more enjoyable when essays aren’t on your mind. I swear it.
  • in every single sentence, add a hint of aggression. there’s a parallel between writing with this hint and my actions in the world. (It’s quite silly how I’m laugh-crying as I write this, don’t ask me why. I don’t know. I act like I got it all figured out but deeply I’m soft and confused. I’m just training myself to accept that.)
  • ^ As for value offering Michael Dean’s Newsletter Junkyard can be distilled into this: in every single sentence, add a hint of aggression, the foamier the better. His essay does so much more than that, thanks to Michael’s free fall of visuals.

@April 21, 2022 10:13 AM (CDT)

  • WOP Summer — travel around to meet students. Hot Spots — London, Holland, Lisbon, West Africa, Japan, the Bay, NYC, Vancouver, India

@April 21, 2022 9:51 AM (CDT)

  • Ted told me he golfs until sundown these days. I used to golf until sundown. Talking about it was nostalgic.

@April 21, 2022 9:10 AM (CDT)

  • Is there an opportunity to stake creators? How would this look?

@April 20, 2022

@April 20, 2022 10:43 PM (CDT)

  • to know the feeling of connection and disconnection. …

@April 20, 2022 7:35 PM (CDT)

  • I interrupt subjective statements with ease. Objective, not at all. My theory is because objective statements I read with a skeptical ear, testing it against my belief system; whereas subjective statements I read knowing it’s simply an opinion, it’s your belief and I decide to accept or reject it.
  • I dare you to communicate with subjective statements. Say…
    • I promise
    • I warn
    • I recommend
    • I dare you

@April 20, 2022 5:50 PM (CDT)

  • “give 1 testicle back”

@April 20, 2022 5:20 PM (CDT)

  • I’ve read this sentence by Michael Dean a dozen times, “Dean’s List will rant and rave about the Great Online Game— about VR, MarioKart, and shitcoins— sex, nukes, and rock-and-roll— drugs and the origins of Christianity— neighbors and pets, apples and oranges— the interior of Will Mannon’s apartment— run-on sentences, rumors, and possibly, writing.”
    • what are the extreme, triggering topics I revist?
    • what feels risky to write about?
      • Poker
      • Sex
      • Judgements of others
      • Negativity towards others
      • Critical opinions of others
      • My “bro” sides when hanging out with Minnesota friends. Drinking. Late night bars.
      • #FeelsRisky

  • Formatting Essays, write a full sentence as a heading
  • image

@April 20, 2022 4:27 PM (CDT)

  • wrinkles of loved ones

@April 20, 2022 4:15 PM (CDT)

  • Connection Course Day 4, the challenge:
  • Person 1: I feel ____, and that’s okay.

    Person 2: You feel ____, and that’s okay. I feel ____, and that’s okay. Person 1: I feel... (time: 7 minutes)

  • When I take how someone else feels, it colors my vision and I see the nuances of that in their face.
  • Every day, connection begins with 4 minutes of eye contact. My goal is to become undefended from the person in front of me. While I lock eyes, I let them in by showing emotions and feelings which arise. My face adjusts in micro movements. If I feel tense, I shake shoulders, stretch my mouth — my partner learns of my tension as our gaze holds firm. Attraction, lust, fear, sadness, gratitude, anger — I show them to her and hope to god she doesn’t abuse me.

@April 20, 2022 11:44 AM (CDT)

  • good writing is abrasive
  • [[Potential Essay]]: [[Offend someone with your writing, you shit head]]
    • Key Terms: Active Writing (Active v Passive verbs), Bold Statements (Simone’s style), Abrasive (Michael’s Newsletter)
    • Shiny Dime: describe a “shit head”, editing shit thoughts into abrasive statements

@April 20, 2022 10:31 AM (CDT)

  • Hacks to the Imagination
  1. Google a verb and form the results choose an idiom. Imagine that idiom animating your sentence.
  2. Example:

    Sentence Written: I don’t like writing. I like editing. I attribute that to this Diary.


    Google Idiom: Chalk up to, I see a green “black board” and a piece of a chalk drawing a tick

    Sentence Edited: I don’t like writing. I like editing. I draw another tick under my Diary.

  3. Michael Dean’s: “Love it— there are also simple ways to tweak dead metaphors. Yesterday I changed ‘diving head-first’ into ‘diving face-first’”
  4. “Chalk up to” could become Marker up to.

@April 20, 2022 10:29 AM (CDT)

  • I don’t like writing. I like editing. I attribute that to this Diary.

@April 20, 2022 8:31 AM (CDT)

  • Unlike most newsletters I read Simone’s and every time she twists me into laughter. “In the meantime, please enjoy this mini-documentary about him [her dad]. It’s really lovely, even if he’s not your dad (and he’s not, unless Aaron [her brother] is reading this, and he’s not).”
  • Her voice is infectious, even if she’s a stranger to you.

@April 19, 2022

Decided to end therapy - I’m improving living healthy it’s up to me

@April 19, 2022 7:17 PM (CDT)

  • Curiosity is for yourself. Wonder is for yourself. One there’s an answer.
  • My life would improve if I asked questions from wonder

@April 19, 2022 6:00 PM (CDT)

  • Connection Course Day 3, the challenge: evoke a state of wonder, which differs from curiosity as curiosity wants an answer. wonder is for it’s own sake. Exercise: asking questions back and forth

@April 19, 2022 5:32 PM (CDT)

  • I swear if you step on a yoga mat with shoes, you’re unborn kids will remain unborn
  • What?!

@April 19, 2022 4:14 PM (CDT)

  • I don’t need to do another yoga class. I need to say hi to a yogi. I don’t need to take another therapy session. I need to cry with a friend. I don’t need another a bike ride to relax. I need to bike to a coffee where friends await. Life too awaits, unless you remain inside. Then you and life are two ships in the night.
  • Yell Ahoy
  • @April 20, 2022 11:06 AM (CDT) I donate a lot of time and money to emotional productivity like yoga and therapy and mindfulness — but I promise you, Arthur, if you actively engage with people and technology and your writing, you’ll become more emotional. Emotions frighten me but that’s what I want.
  • @April 20, 2022 1:32 PM (CDT) wow, Tiago today taught me a new word: satisfice, to accept something as satisfactory. I know more than 99% people about emotions and my own behaviors, I don’t need to spend the next 5 years reflecting more on that. It’s time to act.

@April 19, 2022 1:37 PM (CDT)

  • [[Personal Monopoly]] Stories We Tell - Tell ourselves - Stories humankind tells - Stories changing meaning.
    1. Topics I’m obsessed about

    2. the imagination
    3. stories
    4. language

@April 19, 2022 1:35 PM (CDT)

  • “typically a picture is worth a 1000 words or whatnot. but at times ones with a caption is worth even more - it can change the meaning of the pic itself” - Adi
  • “We're telling stories all the damn time - to everyone else, but mostly to ourselves (the voice in our heads). It's how we ascribe meaning to things and make sense of the world (i.e. build up our perception of reality)” - Adi
  • “but ultimately, we also know what we have. to go and lay down in the sense of it. that’s like embracing what we’ve done with our lives.” - Rodney Mullen

@April 19, 2022 1:30 PM (CDT)

  • Adi laughed at a line in my essay which is a signal to exaggerate further and make more visual. That’s easier to do, thanks to my Diary practice.

@April 19, 2022 12:03 PM (CDT)

  • Writing Gym rolled into a Feedback Gym, which is now rolling into lunch, so I'm unable to roll through today

@April 19, 2022 8:45 AM (CDT)

  • During my massage, I was disturb when the song told me I’m a big powerful brave black man. It affirmed I’m a god, black god with a huge creative power that I must erect into the world. All this turned me on, of course.
  • @April 21, 2022 5:39 PM (CDT) ^ told a friend this story. But with more juicy details.

@April 18, 2022

Gifted Sklar Course,

@April 18, 2022 8:15 PM (CDT)

  • I dare you, Arthur, do not read into text messages.

@April 18, 2022 5:00 PM (CDT)

  • Simone cleaning the camera lens

@April 18, 2022 4:45 PM (CDT)

  • Connection Course Day #2: gratitude exercise. “I’m grateful for ____” and feel it in your body.
  • Connection Course Day #1: active listening. Listen as a cheesy salesman and then Listen whole-heartedly as if your hero was speaking.
  • Connection Course Day #0:
    • Person A asks "What do you want right now?"
    • Person B responds
    • Repeat until the time is up

@April 18, 2022 4:23 PM (CDT)

  • I’m gonna find love in Austin this summer

@April 18, 2022 2:00 PM (CDT)

  • I gifted Sklar’s course to a student. I’m so proud of this small act that I’m sharing it here, which is surprising because really I want to act cool and like it was nothing, but really I’m screaming, YES GOOD JOB ARTHUR.
  • image

@April 18, 2022 2:21 PM (CDT)

  • I bought an iPhone 13 and it completely reorganize my workflow system. I’m focused on one app, one use case. Notion is for writing. Evernote is my filing cabinet and project notes. Obsidian my research database. And so on. These clear lines make workflow effortless on my phone.
  • @April 18, 2022 7:43 PM (CDT) The apps represent headspaces to enter. No longer do I feel notion app is a mess and overwhelming. It’s my writing space.

@April 18, 2022 10:53 AM (CDT)

  • God is the story that every other story emerges out of.

@April 18, 2022 9:30 AM (CDT)

  • social media is distracting and a vice. but what’s more, for me, is a yellow number #2 pencil. I twirl it over my thumb. The smooth wood slides between my thumb and pointer as tension builds.

@April 18, 2022 9:27 AM (CDT)

  • [[Stories Told]] Accepting my Little Brother #BBBS

@April 17, 2022

Emily roadtrip to taos w/ another man | Emily non-affectionate hike (I wish I grabbed her hand) | Connection course feeling “Undefended”

@April 17, 2022 2:58 PM (CDT)

  • Connection Challenge day #1 notes
    • 4 mins: With a partner, repeatedly ask what do you want now
      • desires change with every passing moment.
    • 10 mins: keep eye contact
      • it’s easy to view this as “don’t react, stay calm, like a stoic”. it isn’t that.
      • “Feel what it’s like to be undefended.” That’s the meditation. At any given moment, what is it like to feel undefended, as if the other person is storming into your soul.
      • I felt sadness, joy, pride, attraction, lust, tension, relaxation, on and on — undefended is to let the other see those.

@April 17, 2022 2:50 PM (CDT)

  • Poets are experts at eavesdropping

@April 17, 2022 11:27 AM (CDT)

  • I once went to a party at the playboy mansion. Although it’s not my best story, it’s a story people want to hear.
  • I told this last night to Nathaniel and Victoria. Nathaniel asked questions slowed the story down and uncover details what was 22 year old Arthur thinking. It was helpful.
  • The themes internally are around sex, money and loyalty. I had a girlfriend when I went.
  • But also a boy in Minnesota who lived at his parents house, flying to LA, eating sushi for the first time, being surrounded by celebrities.
  • Details to remember
    • I awed over a man at my table after he paid the entire dinner bill. people do that?
    • Playmates escorting us club to club, by passing the lines.
    • Rolex, Playmate on cars. Cheesy man. Playmate not going home with him at the end of the night. He’s sad.
    • Bald man with goatee showing 22 year old me previous year sex party, him in the grotto

@April 16, 2022

@April 16, 2022 5:49 PM (CDT)

  • first log on new iPhone

@April 15, 2022

@April 15, 2022 9:54 PM (CDT)

  • My iPhone crashed into the ground, shattering

@April 15, 2022 8:14 PM (CDT)

  • As I age, my conviction in God matures.
  • I didn’t leave my apartment for 48 hours, my movement constricted to 1000 sq ft. I write from a bed a grass where I’m reminded of her existence.
  • A bed of grass, deep but soft enough to lower your body to the earth’s crust

@April 15, 2022 7:21 PM (CDT)

  • an interaction with a writer disturbed me. He was on my mind. So I told him.
  • ^ that’s true productivity

@April 15, 2022 12:43 PM (CDT)

  • two note-taking systems: one for creativity. one for productivity.
  • My desires for creativity

    1. Searchable
    2. Naturally Linked by Key Words
    3. Easily import Notion Diary
    4. Advanced: emergent essay topics

    Best App for these desires: obsidian

    My desires for productivity

    1. References (PARA based?)
    2. Information captured in Task List?

    Best App for these desires: notion

    This is less clear to me. So I’ll continue with notion.

@April 15, 2022 12:12 PM (CDT)

  • 15 bets: 15 different stories about your life.
  • ^ some of my current bets
    • Online Diary poster
    • Atomic Essay writer
    • Long Form Essay writer
    • Feedback Giver
    • Yoga Teacher
    • Dancer
    • Big Brother in BBBS
    • Travler

@April 15, 2022 11:31 AM (CDT)

  • Keep mini bottles of champagne in the house. Each time a friend tells you good news, pop a bottle to celebrate.

@April 15, 2022 10:28 AM (CDT)

  • In a note file I have begun to gather NFT profile picture creatures who attract me. I will draw my own and accompany the sketch with stories. Each story enriches the picture.
  • Option 2: buy NFT who’s story you already relate to and write fan fiction about him.
    • This option is risky, as its worth is majority in the culture’s talking points. It’s a speculative investment: I believe the culture will care for this ape.

@April 15, 2022 8:48 AM (CDT)

  • A Newsletter that encourages WoP principals
    • Story Told: what’s a story you told this week
    • FAQ: what’s a question you were asked this week
    • Story Happened: what’s a story from the past week
    • Interesting Topic: what’s an idea or topic that has your attention

@April 14, 2022

I accepted him from a place of trust and faith, champagne with friend over zoom to celebrate her new job BBBS

@April 14, 2022 7:15 PM (CDT)

  • Stories I told
    • Dating Emily, how nice it is to date someone who is easy to meet with, as I am. (As compared to past relationships)
    • This question: How fast could I marry someone?

@April 14, 2022 7:13 PM (CDT)

  • I’m saying yes often lately.

@April 14, 2022 7:04 PM (CDT)

  • Potential Little Brother match: I had a phone call to discuss my concerns. His traumatic past wasn’t one of them, which surprised her because it was for many other people. This is the match for me. I accepted, with joy.
  • image

  • Nerves still rattle my hands. I’m unsure what to expect. But I’m sure I want to be there.

@April 14, 2022 1:51 PM (CDT)

  • Connection: a feeling outside yourself, in all states of being — it’s a state beyond states. You can close your eyes and feel what it’s like to be working and disconnected vs working and connected. Sad and disconnected vs sad and connected.

@April 14, 2022 11:44 AM (CDT)

  • “15 bets - explore interests without knowing how they’ll bring money” relates to “my present mantra: I know what I’m going to do, I don’t know what will happen”
  • ^ I purchased 15 bets course with this in mind. It’s not a commitment to the course and participating. I purchased to explore that interest. No agenda besides that.
    • before purchased, I struggled with, “is it worth it?”, “do I want that big of a time commitment”, “do I want another community,” “I don’t want to be known as the CBC guy in every course”, and on and on.

@April 14, 2022 11:32 AM (CDT)

  • Topics Grabbing my attention “Personal Monopoly”
    • 15 bets - explore interests without knowing how they’ll bring money
    • NFTs and Story Telling — giving meaning to the meaningless
    • helping writers find their voice, especially writers used to writing presentation slides
    • Love of WoP framework. Love of children. Teaching wop writing to middle schoolers.
    • Language. It fascinates me. Idioms too. Visualizing words too.

@April 14, 2022 10:25 AM (CDT)

  • pause to stop reacting

@April 13, 2022

@April 13, 2022 1:20 PM (EDT)

  • the shiny dime is different from the message. A student identified the message in an essay, claiming it to be the shiny dime. A message on its own is meaningless. A message told through a story is the shiny dime.
  • ^ in this example: the message: when you find something curious, google it. the story: an unreliable narrator shows you how you’re trusting too much.

@April 13, 2022 10:50 AM (CDT)

  • Helio and Gravy have blinders on to me while they debate Defi. I want Helio to ask me a question. He never does.
  • Tony Dunst doesn’t remember me even though we went to the playboy mansion together. I too want him to ask me a question. He too doesn’t.
  • David smiles and engages with Ben. I want David to look at me. Nope.
  • Michael gives feedback to Charlie. I want to be the one Michael gives feedback to.
  • On and on. So it goes.
  • ^ in each of these, I react to the jealousy, the envy by listening, a slow clogging of my mind with other’s words, until I can’t even recognize my own voice. Surrounded by friends I sit alone.
  • I’m sorry, my friends.

@April 13, 2022 10:31 AM (CDT)

  • Woman across the table from me reaches behind her head, grips the scrunchy, and slides it off her pony tail. Her hair drops to her shoulders. I look. “Is she now attractive?” Before she sees, I’m back gazing at my laptop. Eck, what was that. My eyes dart again, this time off to the left.
  • ^ Eck is a moment for pause. I feel guilty, albeit a small discomfort. My misdeed isn’t that I “checked” this woman out. It’s that I hid it. I hid myself. And I don’t need to. The world is safe.

@April 13, 2022 9:22 AM (CDT)

  • People who have a beer at 9am at an airport need arresting. People who use the urinal then don’t wash their hands need extermination.

@April 13, 2022 9:55 AM (EDT)

  • People question why I take vitamins and don’t eat bread. I never have and answer. [[write a note]]

@April 13, 2022 6:21 AM (CDT)

  • I fell asleep on plane #1. I dreamed about Simone writing "I dare you to stop writing it" rather than writing "you should stop writing it". Here's a note -- Visual writing is a bit aggressive. It engages with the reader who is confronted with your words. And in that confrontation, your personal and true self appear. As Nina Simone says, “I hope to be so completely myself, that my audiences are confronted with what I am, inside and out. In this way, they have to see things about themselves." [[writing tips]] [[bold statements]] [[personal statements]]
  • Good writing describes intentional action. Intentional action is aggressive.
  • Writing tips from Simone (see all in gDoc)
    • “Shoulds” are bullies. They’re negative and full of shame. I dare you to stop writing it, saying it, or both.
    • Open with 1 bold statement. A reader is hooked by your truth, your POV. Now, back it up in your essay.
    • Make decisions. Every topic, word, omission, and publication is a decision. Decide. Adjust as you go.
    • The present tense is connected. The past is distant. Connection is the goal, so use present often.
    • Powerful writing is lean and confident. Fewer is decisive. Decisive is strong. Strong is punchy. Punchy is playful. The redundancy in this sentence is purposeful. Poetic. I broke a rule. You can too.

@April 13, 2022 4:45 AM (CDT)

  • Ordered Uber to airport from my bed.
  • @April 13, 2022 5:51 AM (CDT) White men in suits are most interested in numbers.
  • Flight landing 7:49am, “was 7:50am” - humans are astounding at logistics.
  • @April 13, 2022 7:39 AM (EDT) Flight attendant announcing final boarding call 30 minutes before flight takes off — the flight attendant who cried snakes on a planes
  • @April 13, 2022 9:38 AM (EDT) The pilot drove the plane like a madman and we arrived 30 minutes early

@April 12, 2022

@April 12, 2022 9:52 AM (CDT)

  • A great blue heron wades through the algae, his neck cocked back in an S curve ready to dive forward into the pond. He’s hunting minnows. He pauses, coiling his neck even tighter. The minnow’s last moment of life. He lunges forward, his beak hitting the water like the crack of a gun. Supper served. It’s marvelous, because I do the same thing with Chavo when I’m playing with him. I inch my finger tips closer, until I’m in striking range where I know I can grab his collar before he runs again. I lunge. Under my grasp he squirms. I pretend to eat him and we do it again.
  • ^ meta note: there are three metaphors here. To rewrite, choose one, either a blue heron hunting for minnows like a human makes supper, a blue heron’s neck being like a gun, or a blue heron hunting is like how I play with a dog. The last is most interesting.

@April 12, 2022 9:49 AM (CDT)

  • Two Types of Travel (unsure if I dreamed of this topic or I actually brought it up in conversation yesterday): (1) all-inclusive where you don’t have to think, (2) adventures where you travel without a destination

@April 12, 2022 9:43 AM (CDT)

  • Aida rides 7 buses each different to arrive at Wynwood to sight see. “Es un adventura,” it’s an adventure she says.

@April 11, 2022

@April 11, 2022 2:50 PM (CDT)

  • My notes from processing March Logs
    • Goal is to in a new notebook, dated March 2022:
      • delete meh-logs. (abstract/heady, never a second thought)
      • neglect okay-logs.
      • tag best-logs. (brought up in a conversation at least once)
    • Wait until 7th+ of the next month.
    • Types of Tags:
      • cold tag. (general keywords, assiciated words to search for)
      • hot tag. (specific topic title, these are wanting to be written)
    • Progressively Summarized

@April 11, 2022 1:13 PM (CDT)

  • Tips from Aida, Colombian Nanny
  • Recipe for today’s lunch
    • Brown Rice
    • Chicken Breast
    • Caramelized Pecans
    • Bacon bits, salt, pepper mixed together
    • Brussel Sprouts
    • Squeezed lime on top
  • Travel:
    • Barichara, Santander, Colombia a city for writers
    • Villa de Leyva, Boyaca, Colombia

@April 11, 2022 11:00 AM (CDT)

  • Dressing to your environment
    • btc conference: colorful
    • beach: swimsuit, floral shirt
    • boat: shorts, long sleeve

@April 10, 2022

@April 10, 2022 7:20 PM (CDT)

  • @March 31, 2022 Over zoom, Michael says Rebecca will soon email us about payment for being a Steward. I stumble. Payment? I had joined WoP 8 as a Steward wanting to serve the community for free. WoP 7 changed my writing path and it was my way to give back. I don’t want to accept payment. Ten days later, an email sits in my inbox. “Help Write of Passage, LLC pay you for your hard work.” @April 10, 2022 I tell Qi, I don’t want to accept payment. He pointed out how it’s more of a headache for me to not accept it. The money is minimal for both sides. They expected to pay. Me refusing is just adding confusion and backtracking.
  • Qi also told a story about his friend who founded Shopifi and retired. The founder when he finds a bug in someone else’s code, will fix the bug and send it in. The company tries to pay him a bug bounty, but he didn’t fix the bug for the money. Simply followed his curiosity. I feel the same. But still, with gratitude, the man accepts the bounty. To accept praise, when it’s deserved, is a true humble act.

@April 10, 2022 8:08 PM (EDT)

  • Business idea: build an escape room in Winona with dad and brother. Brother Josh is a carpenter. Dad enjoys escape rooms. I create the puzzles.
    Escape Rooms

@April 10, 2022 3:58 PM (EDT)

  • Pompano beach, we parked on NE 3rd

@April 10, 2022 3:43 PM (EDT)

@April 10, 2022 8:25 AM (CDT)

  • Essays that you could write, stories you already tell often. [[Stories Told]]
    • What is magical realism?
  • Essays on questions you get asked often, but don’t have an answer
    • What were your novels about?
  • Essays wanting a rewrite
    • rosebush
    • you write like no one else
    • ready made phrases
    • punish-the-pause

@April 9, 2022

@April 9, 2022 6:03 PM (CDT)

  • The feedback sandwich works in conversations too, when wanting to change subject, say no, or get out of a conversation “oh wow [positive interjection], that sounds relaxing but I’m going to write for 10 minutes feedback, change of direction], thanks for the offer though. [appreciation]”

@April 9, 2022 4:38 PM (CDT)

  • The feedback gym is a cure to writers block. Within an hour, you get someone else's perspective on your writing, and then you discuss until you uncover your path forward. I'll take this practice of feedback & discussion everywhere, no matter if that's feedback on an essay or feedback on a business idea, or even a trip to Miami. It's the path forward.

@April 9, 2022 12:00 PM (EDT)

  • free yoga in the town square with Yera and nanny Ayida
  • @April 9, 2022 1:06 PM (EDT) Community Greening and us barter. We receive a Simpson’s Stopper with clusters of white flowers, for a pose in a photo and a promise to reunite her with her mother of nature.
  • Footnote: Intimate, Log Mindsets: focus on a simple fact and search for specific words to describe it.

@April 9, 2022 8:45 AM (CDT)

  • When Chinese children finish school, they return home to do homework, as opposed to the English students returning home to play with neighbor kids. This rigid, by the book, schedule stifles creativity and each Chinese person’s unique voice. After decades their breathing becomes tight and constricted.

@April 8, 2022

@April 8, 2022 9:00 PM (CDT)

  • Qi introduces me to Catan. Who wants to join a board game group in Austin?

@April 8, 2022 4:57 PM (EDT)

  • Curiosity is pure thinking. Emotionality is pure action.

@April 8, 2022 4:50 PM (EDT)

  • In the middle of Eric Wienstien’s chat, many stand and walk out. No one hears Eric, despite the mic being on. He talks nukes, quantum mechanics, and aliens which are subjects for Monday. Today the attendance cares for btc.
  • oh my, he ended saying fixing the money system won’t fix the world.

@April 8, 2022 4:06 PM (EDT)

  • 15 bets: Invest in friends who try something hard even if you don’t believe in it

@April 8, 2022 3:49 PM (EDT)

  • “btc is the future!” someone says as I pay for my coffee in fiat. “Fiat is the present!” I yell back.

@April 8, 2022 3:09 PM (EDT)

  • “you can’t think clearly if you don’t write clearly” - JBP. But what about top poker players and mathematical thinkers. They do wonders with the mind yet can’t articulate it

@April 8, 2022 1:31 PM (EDT)

  • Jordan Peterson walked on the Nakamoto stage, which is exciting because as a fan boy it’s my third time and still i haven’t heard him speak about btc
    • Btc is a fairy tale
    • “The probability you invent something deeply powerful and there will be no negative side effects, no. That’s not going to happen.” I like hearing narratives outside of the bubble.
  • Jordan Peterson leaving the university to focus on an app called Essay. WoPPers beware.
    • It’s a sentence processor. It teaches you how to rewrite sentence by sentence, and how to build paragraphs that vary.
    • Jordan Peterson says the problem in educating others to write is good feedback is rare; he says it requires competent thinkers, (and competent thinkers don’t have time to give good feedback). This is wrong, the most scattered brained of us gives good feedback as long as there is a shared language for it. WOP offers that in frameworks. CRIBS transform a scattered mind into an understandable one.
    • Not once, during his writing tangent, did someone clap. I was too busy logging otherwise I would’ve been standing and clapping and shouting amens

@April 8, 2022 1:30 PM (EDT)

  • “If the hodlers believe…” …

@April 8, 2022 1:00 PM (EDT)

  • would you rather show up to the conference in a dodge caravan or in a Ferrari that made you car sick

@April 7, 2022

@April 7, 2022 4:56 PM (EDT)

  • biggest applause about we gotta protect our freedom to innovate
  • ^ curious what has brought people here
  • Met Brian in line for a Cuban sandwich. He was innovating a new app to make KYC more private. On the frontier there are countless opportunities to innovate. When you’re here, you have conversations and your desires arise. Pay close attention. It’s in those that new companies are founded

@April 7, 2022 4:55 PM (EDT)

  • don’t you fuxking dare say the E-word here.

@April 7, 2022 4:51 PM (EDT)

  • two Indian guys, we connected over the small portions of food for $23. No matter your nationality people relate to an empty wallet and stomach

@April 7, 2022 3:49 PM (EDT)

  • 15 bets: follow interests without any idea how to make money, even if they lose money. These are opportunities to meet people. People make you rich, even if they simply shared smile.
  • Back in Austin, perhaps I join underground poker games, not for the money but the people. Lots of interesting people hide underground.

@April 7, 2022 1:40 PM (EDT)

  • reminder to self: if you buy a nft, be wise and buy an ape that wears converses. I relate to an ape in converses.

@April 7, 2022 11:52 AM (EDT)

  • Qi’s #5 goal: get in a fight before 40. A fight of passage.

@April 7, 2022 10:35 AM (EDT)

  • is this niche enough of an interest to have something to do with my personal monopoly? I’m fascinated by NFTs and how the stories we tell give them so much meaning that some are worth hundreds of thousands
  • Qi imagined a future where Disney has a new ride and for marketing purposes they release 100 NFTs, the first tickets to the ride. This ride is so beloved that it exists decades later. Some man is a fanatic, this ride has cured his fear of heights. And to him, this NFT file reminds him to be the best version of himself — something priceless. So he pays $100,000 for a jpeg file.

@April 7, 2022 8:15 AM (CDT)

Writing Goals, pre WoP9 - How are mine?

  • "perfect" 1 essay before WOP9. A goal to take writing studio with the Dean and tackle an essay from a bunch of sides, with a dozen rounds of feeback.
  • publish 8 long-form essays (many rounds of feedback), 1 every two week cadence.
  • send 9 newsletters, one every time I publish an essay
  • publish 30 short-form essays (under 500 words)
  • log in my online diary like a savage

@April 6, 2022

@April 6, 2022 9:34 PM (EDT)

  • waiting for my friend to arrive who i haven’t seen in 2 years 😬
  • Since then he’s been married to a wife I haven’t met, had a daughter I haven’t
  • @April 6, 2022 9:45 PM (EDT) the whole family came to pick me up - Grayson, Yera, Isabella, and even Qi who’s in town

@April 6, 2022 9:29 PM (EDT)

  • Teaching wop writing to middle schoolers? That’s my personal monopoly

@April 6, 2022 5:18 PM (CDT)

  • bittersweet music, 32,000 feet above the earth’s crust, clouds passing by like billboards: reflect

@April 6, 2022 5:14 PM (CDT)

  • my present mantra: I know what I’m going to do, I don’t know what will happen
  • I am well aware of what my emotions what to do. But too many unknowns hinder me
  • @April 7, 2022 Kim shared this
  • Worrying Worrying is so habitual, isn't it? We imagine that if we fantasize about the future that we can know it and control it. But worries are just fantasies. And a fantasy is never reality. There are thoughts about reality. And then there is reality. We can fantasize about the future, but when the future shows up, something else is happening than what we had fantasized. What does worrying try to protect us from? The unknown. We don't know the future. We don't know what will happen. So we worry to avoid our anxiety about the unknown. Will someone love me? Will I succeed? Will I get cancer? No one knows. Every day we live into the unknown. To let go of worries, we have to accept the unknown. We don't know the future. We don't know what will happen. And we cannot know the future until the future arrives. Once we accept the unknown, we can accept the anxiety of not knowing, the anxiety that has driven our worries. We thought we were anxious due to our worries. In fact, we are anxious about the unknown. And as we accept the anxiety of the unknown and let ourselves be intimate with it and feel it without resistance, it eventually dissolves. We are always living into the unknown. Life seems like a process of subtraction. We let go of more false knowns, false self images, false other images, and worries until there is less and less to let go of. So many ways we can distract ourselves with worries, so many ways not to be where we are. - Jon Frederickson of the ISTDP Institute

@April 6, 2022 4:32 PM (CDT)

  • flying southwest for the first time, wtf is happening

@April 6, 2022 1:52 PM (CDT)

  • I believe the English language is such a visual and potent language because of all the dead metaphors. Example, I got swept up in travel.
  • The artist resurrects these dead metaphors by pausing to see what that image brings. I picture A personified God in the sky, formed by clouds with a long beard, sweeping me with a breathe into the clouds, where I soar at 32,000 feet to a new land.

@April 6, 2022 10:35 AM (CDT)

  • To travel to: Tourrettes-sur-Loup

@April 6, 2022 10:23 AM (CDT)

  • New word: earthenware First seen: Drake’s essay about Tourrettes-sur-Loup: “On entering, say the alimentaire, or small grocer, we receive a smile and greeting and are briefly told what is new in the shop, which might be some melons from a local farmer or a terrine freshly made by the proprietors’ mother and presented in an ancient earthenware container.”

@April 5, 2022

@April 5, 2022 11:28 PM (CDT)

  • when we dont have clothes on, I’m a different person. Spoken communication no longer matters. It becomes purely physical. It becomes pure.

@April 5, 2022 11:27 AM (CDT)

‘As one of my early Krav Maga instructors once told me, “get your shit in one sock!”’

@April 5, 2022 9:29 AM (CDT)

  • Inspired by Shelby’s essay: the personal monopoly is an enigma, but if you publish one idea at a time, it will take form.
  • A personal monopoly isn’t a personal brand or something to be understood, but rather as this formless creature who consistent morphs with age and time. His name is Chiman, and it’s the writer’s calling to build a relationship with him. His feet, his hands, every body part, is an idea, something that interests the writer. As the writer writes, he gives language to talk about the body part, to the point that he can tell anyone about that body part. The more he talks about it, the more detailed it becomes.

@April 5, 2022 9:18 AM (CDT)

  • the best feedback is the question, especially many thematically related questions asked throughout a gDoc

@April 5, 2022 9:15 AM (CDT)

  • I want to write about Language more. It fascinates me.

@April 4, 2022

@April 4, 2022 6:15 PM (CDT)

  • Finding Voice / Personal Monopoly / Architect or Archaeologist
  • How will I differentiate my writing?
    • Format: Footnotes, Doodles (?), colorful text
    • Topic: mindfulness, writing,
    • Voice: Playful. Surrealism. Imagination. Vulnerable. Optimistic.
      • archaeologist... essays arise from visuals. a single visual will detour a whole essay. own this!
    • Experience: traveler, once poker-player,
  • When writing, I get to my final draft like an archaeologist, each draft diverges from the initial seed. But I take 6 drafts to get there because my architect mind keeps my imagination in check. What if I didn’t fetter my imagination?

@April 4, 2022 5:03 PM (CDT)

My ideal writing setup... is for creating

  • Standing Desk
  • Iced Coffee + Almond Milk
  • No music. NO people / city sounds.
  • A breeze coming through windows. Natural light all around me.
  • Yoga pants, Baggy sweatshirt
  • No decisions to be made, the page a playground. (converging is a different setup)

@April 4, 2022 1:38 PM (CDT)

  • Michael Ashcroft Exercise to write from conversation
    • Ask a question.
    • what came up for you while listening to the others that you could write about?
    • what did you say that might be interesting to write about?
    • List of questions to potentially ask
  • I was asked, “What’s the one trait you’d like to change about yourself?” My people pleasing and overly being a listener.

@April 4, 2022 1:14 PM (CDT)

  • In breakout rooms the timer counts down in a breakout room, Tommy speaks a well timed insight, punchline ending on last second. JC and Ken rejoin the main group inspired.
  • Meanwhile I stumble and stop with 10 ticks too soon. We sit in uncomfortable silence, until we rejoin the main group, disheveled.

@April 4, 2022 12:14 PM (CDT)

  • Whats your darkness? [[Emotional Writing]] [[Imitate]] [[Logloglog]]

@April 4, 2022 12:11 PM (CDT)

Log of food from Louisiana

  • Boudin and Bloodly Boudin (morsilla en argentina)
    • Boudin seller: blue eyes, bushy brows, tan face
  • Crawfish
  • Gumbo
  • Red beans and rice

@April 4, 2022 11:54 AM (CDT)

  • App idea: “Photo Swap”. An app to share photos after travel with other people, but the photos only last for 48 hours.

@April 4, 2022 11:48 AM (CDT)

A Log of my step-father’s stories

  • “Road kill armadillos make for good jewelry. I would chop off the tail and put it on a fire ants nest. They would hollow it out, then I would dry it in the sun. The links on the tail made for rings.“
  • “Back in the 70s, Tommy Redcliff and I found two sharks in a car wash parking lot. We tied a rope to the tail and the hitch of my truck and drove them through the town. Tommy yelled out the window, “Get your fruit, get your bread, get your shark meat.” We waited for the police to stop us but they never came.”
  • “I used to drive 80 mph and shoot out my window one handed shootin out proach lights”
  • “You couldn’t stop for 5 mins, you had to stop for 30 mins. Ms. Rose always fixed ice cream. I don’t care weather 32 degree she fixin ice cream”
  • “Difference of zoos in Louisiana and the rest of the world. Everywhere else they have animals descriptions outside the cage. Here they have cajun recipes.

@April 4, 2022 10:56 AM (CDT)

Is there a type of therapy that teaches people how the body expresses emotions, like what are the physical movements of the emotion? Last session my counsellor said to me typically people show excitement with raised arms and energy moving upwards... I'll never be the same @August 1, 2021
  • One emotion I struggle to express physically and outwardly is guilt. Here are some physical signals for me to “fake it until I make it”.
    • Curling away from people. Averting gaze. Chin to chest.
    • Avoiding a person or place [like I avoided Duncun]
    • Stuttering, growing flustered
    • Distract others from the truth [I’m skilled at this]
    • Pinning arms against stomach
    • Taking a deep, pained breath and closing the eyes
  • A physical sign of someone feeling guilt is consuming antacids. They have heartburn. I fucking love idioms. Their heart is burning, engulfed in a flame. The mis-deed was like striking a match and holding in under a beating heart, the deep red tissues of the muscle curling away. Antacids will only numb the pain. The heart is repaired by feeling the guilt and through hearty action.

@April 4, 2022 9:17 AM (CDT)

  • I can’t predict how someone will react. All I have control over is expressing my beliefs and what I believe to be right. That’s who I am.

@April 3, 2022

@April 3, 2022 6:10 PM (CDT)

  • having words to describe something you do turns that thing into a skill that you can get better at - Lex Fridman paraphrased

@April 3, 2022 12:00 PM (CDT)

  • My racist relative points out black people walking and says when it’s hot out, you have to walk very slow to not sweat

@April 3, 2022 3:53 PM (CDT)

  • The enjoyment of crawfish isn’t in the taste but rather than primitive act of cracking hundreds of tails for a morsel of meat

@April 3, 2022 2:00 PM (CDT)

on the watch for gators
on the watch for gators

@April 3, 2022 11:37 AM (CDT)

  • a tattoo under the chin is a bad look

@April 3, 2022 11:20 AM (CDT)

  • At the breakfast table, we talked about two step dancing and my step dads funny way of dancing. He dances like an elder who spring out of his wheelchair and stood for the first time. It’s hilarious. He brought up that my mom saw him dancing with lots of ladies simply for amusement. A few days later he was sitting outside my mom’s office. My mom stopped to talk to him. His friends told him he doesn’t have a chance with her. It a right world that would be true. My mom was married. To my father. This was the beginning of my family destruction. It’s the opposite of hilarious.

@April 2, 2022

@April 2, 2022 10:00 PM (CDT)

  • Dancing zydeco all night, with sausage links around neck so you don't have to stop to eat.

@April 2, 2022 4:39 PM (CDT)

  • A peacock 🦚 plucked a half eaten kumquat from my fingers. He spit it out which offended me because I don’t share food with anyone. Even when it’s free from the tree

@April 2, 2022 4:22 PM (CDT)

  • A white dove away from the grim of a city street is actually a pretty creature. I watched her for 10 minutes. On her post, she fanned out and stretched her wings. What an invention by god.

@April 2, 2022 4:15 PM (CDT)

  • I’m at a plantation where dead white men used to own black men so they could sit and rock on their chairs and talk about which sweaty one they want to take to bed. I rocked on the deck imagining. It’s sad.

@April 2, 2022 4:07 PM (CDT)

  • Papa Bradley, a slave owner, was a cigarette smoker. The only time he didn’t smoke was when he ate food.  He lit three matches a day and chain smoked.

@April 2, 2022 3:00 PM (CDT)

  • I bought a tiedye hoodie. It’s colorful and has a peacock.

@April 2, 2022 10:32 AM (CDT)

  • in small town Louisiana
  • fixing to go crawfishing today
  • Tourists paying money to do labor. What if I did this at the lumberyard.
  • Nice words: “Marsh”, “mud kickin up”, “water snakes”, “Jeremy being splashed with mud, no longer cares when ice was broken”. The noise of the bags of Crawdad.

@April 1, 2022

@April 1, 2022 5:00 PM (CDT)

  • Hurricanes greatly influence LA culture from the way they bury bodies (above ground), to building houses in the clouds.
  • Hurricane houses on stilts to reduce flood insurance. Higher stilt, lower rate.

@April 1, 2022 3:00 PM (CDT)

  • Banana magnolia flower in my mom’s pocket. Comforting smell. Comforting action.
  • Arch of wisterias swarmed with bumble bees.

@April 1, 2022 10:14 AM (CDT)

Mr Beast podcast notes

  • “I have no interest in leaving Youtube.” On youtube, we’re gaining 7 million new subscribers a month. If I started my own platform, that number would drop under a million.
  • He takes in inspiration and watch what pops into his brain.
  • Mr. Beast said he’s skilled at brainstorm ideas. He stressed to focus less on quantity of videos/ideas and more on quality. Exercise: Brainstorm ideas 1h a day (crash and burn)

@April 1, 2022 10:03 AM (CDT)

  • Driving Austin, TX ⇒ Abbeville, LA. The first road trip with the electric car.
  • Leg 1: Car estimated battery to drive 284 miles before empty. We drove 133 miles to the first charging station, battery down to 70 miles before empty. 214 estimated miles to go 133 miles. 62% of the estimated. That’s damn near a malfunction.
  • Adjustment: changed accelerator from fast to “chill” mode. Onto leg2...

@April 1, 2022 9:00 AM (CDT)