Commonplace

@Yesterday 5:57 PM (CST)

  • never go to bed angry with your partner. last resort, get in the shower naked together

@Last Saturday 5:03 PM (CST)

Rick Rubin Compares the Creative Process of Eminem, Jay-Z, and Anthony Kiedis

  • “Participate with what’s going on in a free way. Then listen back to what you did.”
    • I felt this writing the MDMA essay.
    • Participate with the writing mood. Then edit later.

@Last Saturday 4:50 PM (CST)

  • How can technology be driven not by dopamine but oxytocin - Joe Hudson

@November 4, 2022 9:18 AM (CST)

  • Write essays and stories that actually enrich your in person life.

@November 4, 2022 9:08 AM (CST)

  • In my bathroom sink, a cockroach frighten me. First in primal, animalistic reaction — I was bugged eyed. Second in who I am as a person. I truly wanted to crumple his brains against the porcelain. In yoga terms, it tested my dhrama. It’s just a cockroach, doing what cockroaches do. Why ought it die for that? And I’m just a human after all. What do humans do? I could use a glass to trap him, but then every time I drink out of it I’ll think of this cockroach. That’s not worth his life. I plotted and planned. I grabbed an excessive amount of paper towels, and I trapped it, picked it up, dropped it out my second story window. I didn’t want to know if I had killed it in the process. After all, humans deliberate choose ignorance.

@November 2, 2022 9:15 AM (CST)

In my essay writing…

I notice an agenda to solve the story arc. Deeper down, I have an agenda to impress others with this story. Deeper down, to feel like a good writer, (and a good writer has a story arc). Deeper down, to feel in control over the one thing in my life that I feel good at.

What would change if I admit I'm good at this, rather than I feel good at this? It's having faith in myself. It's sinking into the vision of me (sinking in is embodying a vision) .. I find myself admitting I have Shawn in me -- not I'm aspiring towards that.

Same with writing. Faith that the story arc will reveal itself. I can find that faith by failing and living out those failures. I can find that faith by mourning failures. Mourning that I don't become a good writer.

Where can you sink into the vision of you?

@November 1, 2022 1:46 PM (CST)

  • I feel like a baby learning to walk the spiritual path.

@November 1, 2022 12:37 PM (CST)

  • Share your experience. I fucking do not know how to do this. What ideas did I learn that will benefit someone else? That never feels authentically me. What was meaningful? These are often simply being present and having this space. It’s rare. I’m in yoga teacher training and I talk to many students who crave this space and do not know how to enter it. And it amazes me every time. Trust your presence.

@November 1, 2022 9:53 AM (CST)

  • simply listening to someone isn’t fullfilling. holding space is.

@October 27, 2022 8:27 AM (CST)

  • Read as if in a conversation with the writer has taken on a deeper meaning for me. It’s a practice in speaking up. In being impartial, being vulnerable, being empathic, being in wonder. It’s less about exchanging ideas, and more about how are these words making me react as a human. What am I noticing in myself.

@October 23, 2022 10:48 AM (CST)

  • This cohort (WOP 9), I wrote two essays. After receiving feedback, the first it was clear that I wanted to rewrite into an essay. The second, I was unsure. I liked my sections, but they were far from united. I had two options: (1) cut most and focus on the section about grief. (2) find a metaphor and let it play throughout, weaving the sections together. I didn’t want either, and a third option arose: Send as “Notes on Cemeteries.” These are my musings. They don’t have to be connected into an essay like I’m attempting. It’s a newsletter of bullet points which are related but aren’t massaged into an essay.

@October 22, 2022 10:12 AM (CST)

  • when I’ve written in the morning, like actually had a focused writing session (which seems to only be possible before checking my phone), there’s a settling force in my session. I feel okay to do nothing the rest of the day. What freedom

@October 21, 2022 8:35 AM (CST)

  • Indigenous Wisdom
  • “Lay on your stomach. When you lay on your stomach, you breathe into your back lungs. Recently doctors have been discovering that, something the yogis knew centuries before.”

@October 21, 2022 8:22 AM (CST)

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@October 20, 2022 2:38 PM (CST)

  • Two weeks into a more scheduled life (with WOP running). Here’s of note
  • I’m doing less of: lifting weights, writing/reading outdoors, reading old texts, riding my bike, conversing with friends. I’m doing more of: meditating, giving feedback, conversing with writers. I feel unbalanced.
  • I moved around a lot more before a calendar

@October 19, 2022 8:50 AM (CST)

  • Socialize during natural breaks in your day. Lunch, Dinner are the big ones.
  • #NoCalendarLife

@October 18, 2022 6:47 PM (CST)

  • I want to inside this
  • energy exchanges, humans vibing, movement and breath — that’s the life I’m transforming into

@October 18, 2022 12:12 PM (CST)

  • “Why don’t we have energy too cheap to meter?”

@October 16, 2022 10:10 AM (CST)

  • When other’s are vulnerable, I’m forced to feel myself. It grounds me.

@October 16, 2022 8:15 AM (CST)

  • what if I don’t achieve my agenda?
  • Can I even do it wrongly?
  • What if it (your shadow) is not wrong?
  • Who’s the authority on right? (what’s right do to / say)

@October 15, 2022 9:58 AM (CST)

  • When thinking of my decaying life, I often contemplate how much of my first 35 years were selfishly taking from the world. I was a poker player who earned money from others who often couldn’t afford to lose it. I feel alone. With guilt, I donated money to charities, hoping to feel better. And perhaps, I gravitate towards graveyards, hoping to feel better.

@October 13, 2022 10:11 AM (CST)

  • unique perspective prompts
  • image
  • I also like/love, something I learned from Isabella: what do you notice in the world, and how is that unique to you? what are others missing?

@October 12, 2022 6:30 PM (CST)

  • “conversation is an algorithm for randomness" -david

@October 11, 2022 10:50 AM (CST)

  • Process 1: be silly and play the first draft. reverse outline the second.
  • Process 2: write from nervous system, logically. go deeper into a certain seed.

@October 10, 2022 2:33 PM (CST)

  • when’s the last time you listened to 808s & Heartbreak?

@October 10, 2022 11:10 AM (CST)

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@October 7, 2022 4:56 PM (CST)

  • Yoga, I'm realizing, teaches the feeling of Empowered Positions. Progress in yoga is becoming a bit more aware of the Empowered Position no matter if you're sitting, laying, flowing, or standing. In yoga, some students are more flexible, some more stable. Typically if someone is more stable, they'll tend to hold position rigidly (tend towards power/armor). If someone is more flexible, they'll tend to over soften into a puddle. Yoga nudges them both towards empowerment.

@October 6, 2022 9:17 AM (CST)

  • I will describe the pointer that's helped me move away from intellectualizing my actions, thoughts, feelings, and move into staying in that self-loving, grounding feeling. My pointer: witness something (an action, thought, or feeling) and trust my being (my essence) to do the figuring out. For example, I'll find myself scrolling through photos I took of the woman I met at Burning Man. I'll witness that, and instead of judging it or trying to do something with it, I'll remind myself that my being has got it. I find myself doubting my actions a lot less. Same too with thoughts. I witness and trust that my being is working something out (which I don't understand and that's okay). Thoughts cycle way less. And too, even I get down to the emotions. Difficult emotions are kinder to sit with when I trust. I trust my body that it's analyzing, calculating, and remapping. And to do all this while maintaining that grounding, self-loving feeling.

@October 5, 2022 9:32 AM (CST)

  • The bible is mostly one TV Tropes after another. wtf does that mean?

@October 5, 2022 8:57 AM (CST)

  • a mistake I made with tracking tasks is I believe because it was on my mind there is something to be done. Theseadays I recognize witness thoughts, sometimes write them down, other times trust that they’ll work themselves out.

@October 4, 2022 10:03 AM (CST)

  • I thought I had covid this morning. It turned out negative and my new theory about feel ill is I ate too many cookies yday

@October 3, 2022 3:18 PM (CST)

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@October 3, 2022 3:10 PM (CST)

  • The human body is unexpectedly flammable

@October 3, 2022 1:21 PM (CST)

  • The heart has its own nervous system, apparently. Why is that so relieving?

@October 1, 2022 9:43 AM (CST)

  • I’m shopping around for tattoos ascetics. I have one on my upper arm that’s lonely, and a torso that’s bare. Lots of canvas. The timing feels right to start painting.

@October 1, 2022 9:41 AM (CST)

  • I had a major realization a few days ago without a need to write it down which I also realized and am writing that down now.

@September 29, 2022 12:02 PM (CST)

  • seeing the world as ten thousand suns: my dad calls on my birthday, I see all of time and our relationship. Who knows if there will be another birthday that he calls.

@September 28, 2022 3:51 PM (CST)

  • stages of an interaction, different points to check in and feel if it’s right to continue. More often I leap stages, guided by my head and the transactional thing it wants done

@September 26, 2022 7:45 PM (CST)

  • when you judge someone its simply you trying to figure out something about yourself.
  • Where does your attention go. That’s your path to freedom if you are able to witness it as it is.
  • It’s seeing yourself (and what you’re aware of) as good
  • How isn’t it?!?

@September 26, 2022 5:08 PM (CST)

  • everything is just did is perfectly right, exactly what I needed to do. Everything I’m doing in this moment, every movement, every thought, is exactly what I need to do.

@September 26, 2022 11:55 AM (CST)

  • my intention as an editor for WOP 9: reflect back patterns I notice in writers, and potential paths forward for them to pursue. I want my presence of be more of a friend than an editor. When I give writing feedback, I want to empower them, by defining how to win through an edit while still giving them the creative space to win on their own.

@September 26, 2022 10:56 AM (CST)

  • Marshall McLuhan about William Burroughs "while most writers transcribe the experience of their nervous system, Burroughs transcribes the orgasm of the cosmos.”

@September 25, 2022 5:15 PM (CST)

  • labels, like identity, only have temporary use

@September 25, 2022 4:39 PM (CST)

Maybe I'll lay down for a little, yeah

'Stead of always trying to figure everything out

-Mac Miller

@September 24, 2022 1:08 PM (CST)

I have been taught many expectations of how to write, all of which confuse my system when I sit to write. I begin to self-loath in the writing process.

  • “write shitty first drafts”
  • Set a timer for an hour and finish an essay, just hit publish with whenever you end
  • Outline as essay, mark the page

Neil Gaiman’s is the only one that honors exactly where I am day to day.

  • Timer: 60 minutes. You can choose to produce words, or do nothing. Do nothing is great too.

Doing nothing is like the baby who falls to the ground and rests before trying to stand again. While on the ground he’s still observing people. Like when an essay is open in front of you, your being is still working something out with it. That’s what society calls do nothing. It’s what I call love with where I am at.

@September 24, 2022 10:19 AM (CST)

  • people, especially brand builders, like to parrot ideas, causing noise, red herrings, and an environment I want to stay the fuxk away from. And yet, twitter society rewards them with followers and dopamine highs from likes. Why, why, why is it like that I quarreled.
  • The bhaghvad Gita taught me why Twitter society rewards brand builders, even those of parrot idea after idea. There are two paths for the healing journey. One, retirement from the world for a life of contemplation. Two, work in the world without expecting fruit of the labor. Brand builders serve path two, they are masters at advancing ideas into the world. That’s their service.
  • I find this idea of selfless writing unbelievably attractive. How can I serve the idea for the sake of service?
  • David in a recent call said his friend was working on a real estate project, and David surprised him with a document full of ideas on how to be successful in it. That’s service for service’s sake.
  • @September 24, 2022 3:00 PM (CST) It actually makes me think how there’s two ways of achieving spiritual mastery in anything. Gaining wisdom through self study of the thing. I lean heavily on this side with writing; I’ll take two months to write one essay; it’s an exploration and I discover wisdom. Way two: selflessly outputting writing and ideas, newsletters are great for this pursuit.

@September 23, 2022 4:30 PM (CST)

  • I have a floral overcoat on and a ring with a pearl. women’s clothing invites conversations which are well spirited - lots of positive energy. There’s a lot I do with positive energy. Like log.

@September 23, 2022 4:25 PM (CST)

  • Last name on a grave today: Earthman

@September 23, 2022 4:23 PM (CST)

  • I haven’t squeezed since preicing my nose. I honestly fear it. Today I inhaled before going bugged eyes at the thought of a squeeze. I cut it off. It’s body-boggling how much control the mind has. I swear, if we dream it, the mind could end starvation, solve cancer, and raise children to be deeply okay with who they are. I say let’s dream it, life is more fun that way. That way we have more time for spirit

@September 23, 2022 4:20 PM (CST)

  • Patrick was playing corn-hole at Mueler Lake. The boards were measured out to 27’ which I learned was the professional distance. I asked to play and proceeded to throw my first 7 bags into the dirt ahead of the board. I gotta hit the gym for bicep curls, I joked to Patrick. Patrick freelances at UT, creating visuals on the jumbotrons. Jumbo Visuals! Anyway, I’m happy he was so inviting to bags. My heart expanded a tiny bit because of it.

@September 23, 2022 11:45 AM (CST)

  • underwear is an adult form of a diaper

@September 23, 2022 11:16 AM (CST)

  • I curse at evernote for it’s crashes and lack of optionality daily

@September 23, 2022 10:41 AM (CST)

  • As writing ascends the content triangle, climbing from tweets to newsletters to essays, it also ascends the POP rubric. Personal goes from quick reflections to more emotional content. Observational from a spark to an investigation. Playful from a hint of personality to something musical.

@September 23, 2022 10:30 AM (CST)

  • Note systems are for seeing the wealth of thoughts and defenses and conflicts on a topic. They’re for creating a list of things to bring awareness to, so that in the moment, your true desire is clear.

@September 22, 2022 12:49 PM (CST)

  • Lake Louise

@September 21, 2022 12:23 PM (CST)

  • After a night of crazy dreams, I wake up and go about my day. I don't keep a dream journal of associations, images, and "I was naked on a couch again". It's all too random to figure out, despite it not being random. When I dream, my being wrestles with a kaleidoscope of energies. They tumble and rays of light flash and flicker. I see mutated beings until they ware themselves out, lean back into darkness, huffing and puffing as I wake. Tonight, they'll do it again. It's their work. And I am grateful for them. Today, however, my being needs a fucking lashing.

@September 20, 2022 12:56 PM (CST)

  • thoughts aren’t meant to be tinkered with but observed.
  • Even a thought like I haven’t been emotional lately. It’s easy for me to tinker: I should be more emotional. If I was more emotional I’d have more energy in work. Moving emotions is good and I’m not doing that. This afternoon I’ll do an anger release, that’ll help. People like emotional people. On and on. Instead I observe like I see you & I don’t know what more is going on, I see you’re working something out.
  • There’s nothing to do with it
  • @September 20, 2022 3:12 PM (CST) at the library, I observe my eyes darting towards a woman next to me. .. I’m figuring something out about her. I don’t know what, but I thank my eyes. I encourage them to continue, if they wish.
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@September 19, 2022 2:25 PM (CST)

  • moving passing "trying”
  • I had a breakthrough with moving passing "trying" to feel more, and getting out of my head.

    I found two steps greatly help me. Awareness of all that's going on inside and out. And "letting the body catch up to the mind". Sometimes I'll write everything down around a situation, say texting someone. And I just look at the list. I sit with it. I let my body catch up to the minds 30 different desires directions. Eventually, a feeling arises (often what feels like compassion). And it's from that which I have direction. This reminds me of feel over figure.

    I also practice this during dance pop-ups, by recognizing every time I'm trying to dance a certain type of way, and compassionately sitting with that tryer.

@September 18, 2022 2:16 PM (CST)

  • selfless action. advancing ideas for the sake of advancing them. I often hold back from sharing, what if someone takes the idea. And I write from that place, finding the balance of look at my brilliant idea with ITS MINE, BAHAHAHAHA. But what’s settling in me is this desire to advance an idea just to move it along in the world. That would be so enriching.
  • in each essay I write, who could I write to sort of as a gift, “here you go, I thought about this idea that I know you’re passionate about and I wanted to help you further your pursuit.”
  • two days ago, my brother wrote me a loony idea for a company, and in stride I made an attempt to help him further it. en-rich-ing

@September 18, 2022 1:51 PM (CST)

  • I met someone at burning man who fascinates me. Our relationship went cold yet I still look through the photos we have. It’s like my being pokes around the photos, wanting to understand what we had, wanting to understand what makes me care so deeply for this one in particular, and wanting to feel the sadness and anger of her being gone. I watch clips of her, and I don’t know why, and I like it.

@September 18, 2022 1:35 PM (CST)

  • A yoga sutra that describes clear and direct writing: Misconception occurs when knowledge of something is not based upon its true form. When I’m hiking, at times I see a stick and think SNAKE! This is a misconception. This occurs in writing when I, the writer, describe something in vague terms that potentially cause you the reader to imply something. Example: I just finished a great walk outside. A misconception happens if you think, oh it must have been sunny. I, the writer, could avoid confusion with direct language: I just walked to a cemetery, and while looking over the graves, ponds, and flags I realized I want to reinvent cemeteries. Misconceptions also happen when we assume something to happen which wasn’t described to happen. … Good writing is direct so that the reader doesn’t create misconceptions of what you’re saying; good writing limits the reader from false understanding of reality and from making assumptions. Good writing is direct perception, clear inference, and scriptural testimony of what was experienced.

@September 15, 2022 10:26 PM (CST)

  • the clothes you wear change how you feel. The same clothes will feel one way in one environment, and another in a different environment. Day time I may want to meet a friend in shorts. Night time
  • also the clothes you wear change how people perceive you. I have a lot of emotional qualities that I haven’t fully realized in my outwardly showing personality. When I dress in bright colors and present myself more emotionally, people perceive that quality.

@September 15, 2022 7:58 PM (CST)

  • be a friend to the students, recommend books or paths forward

@September 15, 2022 1:05 PM (CST)

  • empower people to transform their ideas into something greater

@September 15, 2022 11:53 AM (CST)

I seek emotional fulfillment from my mother who is incapable of giving it to me.

With women too,

Chayse, I'm sorry for making you my mother. I don't want to do that. I want to see you for you, not with this veil of my mother.

What do I need to do -- when I seek this emotional fulfillment from someone (especially a defensive someone) -- to love myself and her at the same time?

Inhabit my body: see the blood circulating, pulsing out from my heart. And see her for who she is, don't modify her.

In my body, emotions will naturally arise unless you're un-inhabited.

Words come along with the emotions too sometimes, when deeply inhabited

Thank you Chayse for this lesson.

Who else do I put a veil on (labels of my father, mother, brother?)

  • authority figures

@September 15, 2022 10:03 AM (CST)

  • The heart, questions I want to understand to strengthen my relationship to it: how does blood flow through it? what does the pumping action look like? how quickly does blood exit? Are there circulating pools of blood? how many different muscles are there? can these muscles be stretching through exercise? how does it change shape when running? when sleeping? when seeing a loved one? when in pain? Does prolonged pain change its shape? what about the muscles and rib cage surrounding it? how do these protect it?

@September 15, 2022 10:02 AM (CST)

  • slow and present rather than quick and explainy

@September 14, 2022 11:37 AM (CST)

  • Because I think slowly I have so much space for emotional expression
  • My wave hi and bye. I again don’t have a lot of thoughts so I have space to show my expression in physical movement. How much can I communicate without words?

@September 14, 2022 10:27 AM (CST)

  • beautiful, defensive women are one getaway to me loving myself, my desires, my needs. They challenge my individuality more than anything else I encounter. I fragment into pieces to please them, to obtain sex, and to protect myself. A single buzz of my phone against a counter can send me into dozens of fragments — all of which, at their core, are looking out for me. The team of fragments play with the same intention: I love you Andrew.

@September 14, 2022 10:10 AM (CST)

  • I’ve decided, as an experiment, to keep “sleeping in” without an alarm. I wish to wake up for 7am yoga naturally. How long until my body catches up with this desire? My first couple nights home I slept 12 hours. It’s been decreasing, down to 9.5 hours last night. Often I feel myself wake up well before actually getting out of bed. What keeps me in bed? Whatever that is, I want to feel out and see what it needs. I’m feeding its need in rest / light sleep. But could meditation also feed its need? Workout? A walk in the sun? I will explore and report back.

@September 14, 2022 10:07 AM (CST)

  • I feel tea gives my body a chance to wake up along with the mind, unlike my dear espresso which is like putting a defibrillator to the mind.

@September 14, 2022 9:43 AM (CST)

  • I am not making schedule plans. Everything I’m playing by ear, and it feels so self-loving

@September 13, 2022 4:43 PM (CST)

  • I want what’s best for me and I get angry when others deny that

@September 13, 2022 2:17 PM (CST)

  • “I carry dog treats on my everywhere I go”

@September 13, 2022 1:00 PM (CST)

  • Something firmly settling in me is defining how I want to relate with people in my life. For the last few years I’ve been in a stage of life where my interests have shifted but that isn’t reflected with old friends and many new friends. My Minnesota guy friends I relate through drinking and sports. I have very little interest in either of those nowadays. And so when one texts me, hey how about I come visit for a couple days, I struggle to get excited. I see, now though, that I have different desires, and I could empower us both by stating them. “I’d love for you to visit. Let’s find something we both would like to do!” It’s simple but breaking patterns in relationships is difficult. Another recently is with a love interest. We started texting and it just wasn’t working for me. I wasn’t myself. I asked for space and in that space I realized how I want to relate with her. We both love games. So instead of trying to connect through the typical texting, let’s play a game and chat. Again, so simple and yet this wasn’t obvious to me. Last example: someone invited me to her birthday at a bar on Rainey st. That’s not where I feel most alive meeting someone. So I said no and asked for a lunch and swim.. that sounds invigorating. How do I want to interaction? Where? Doing what? Feeling how?

@September 12, 2022 10:03 PM (CST)

  • essay: love bubbling up in my stomach, wanting to create a beautiful gift for a friend, but “that’s too much, that’s trying to hard”. I feel restriction in chest and shoulder griddle holding down that love

@September 12, 2022 7:11 PM (CST)

  • after anger releases you have a chance to feel empowered, stand tall, shoulders back. Feel big. Same after a big weight lift. Feel big in the gym.

@September 12, 2022 1:10 PM (CST)

  • Fire is found in anger releases

@September 11, 2022 9:18 PM (CST)

  • “I'm able to have logical conversations right now but I do not have the capacity to do the emotional dance with the group right now.”

@September 11, 2022 11:54 AM (CST)

  • at burning man, over 50 people saw me cry, if not over a hundred, which is pretty cool

@September 10, 2022 9:34 PM (CST)

  • the last avatar: Aang saves the world then in his downtime he fucks around.
    • magic tricks
    • creating games to play
    • dressing up in silly costumes
    • Barking orders
    • Dancing in ICE cave

@September 10, 2022 11:31 AM (CST)

  • I often wonder how to empower people in my life. I’ll keep a list here
    • tell stories of daring adventure and shattering heartbreak
    • offering your service (especially skills you have)
    • being present with them, in a state of VIEW

@September 9, 2022 4:27 PM (CST)

  • Rejection is just a chance to love. “What is making you reject me?”
  • I promise you three words. I choose you.
  • Sigh with joy
  • In Rural NV, Archway to butcher shop made completely out of antlers
  • I have friends who hold hands
  • Tools to research: shamanic dearmoring and Circling

@September 9, 2022 2:51 PM (CST)

  • I’ve been back in my apartment for 24 hours. I’ve slept 18 of those hours.

@August 28, 2022 1:13 PM (PST)

  • I stink and I haven’t even reached the desert

@August 27, 2022 3:17 PM (MST)

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  • I can’t find Mexican this good in Austin. Also tameles are so damn tasty
  • Over tameles, it’s sinking in how proud I am of myself.
    1. money: I have the money to take a trip for myself, the willingness to spend it, and the okayness with the aftermath on my pocketbook.
    2. time: I’ll give two weeks to myself on a retreat
    3. skills: heck, I need to learn how to bath myself, feed myself, and keep myself cool by making a hacked together shade structure.
    4. Mindset: hiccups are the adventures not it’s flaws.
    5. Self-love: No plans is self-love unlike I’ve felt before. I have said no to people for the sake of freedom. I don’t want pressure. This is my trip. Maybe I’ll see you at BM. Perhaps not. It’s not in my hands.
    6. Identity: I don’t know what’s on the other side of burning man, but I know some of my personalities will die. New ones will appear. And I’ll feel more alive than ever.

@August 27, 2022 1:29 PM (MST)

  • groups of kids are more common here in SLC

@August 27, 2022 1:02 PM (MST)

  • This is just fucking awesome, this adventure is just fun. Because I’m alone and no one is dependent on me, I feel no pressure. If I want to doodle at a coffeehouse for 2 hours I will. If I want to arrive Monday instead of Sunday, I will. It’s my journey. And I’m excited for the hiccups and the characters I meet.
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@August 27, 2022 12:54 PM (MST)

  • tampons in a mens bathroom

@August 27, 2022 12:54 PM (MST)

  • Yoga awareness not stretching. Awareness to unfelt parts.

@August 27, 2022 1:08 PM (CST)

  • f breaks my heart every time I hear a baby cry and a father says hey no whining. second time in a week. I just see a poor helpless child.

@August 27, 2022 12:06 PM (CST)

This Van is Stocked

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@August 27, 2022 12:02 PM (CST)

  • I bought a bike that’s for small people. I’m going to leave the tags on as I petal it around the desert.
  • It’s 11am and I’m still in SLC, still have a lot of planning. Three main subjects: (1) pre-ready food which is scrambling eggs and putting them in a 1 liter bottle / camper meals / cold brew coffee. (2) Shade structure, my van is black… fucking hot. I worry this heat will suffocate my fridge. (3)

@August 26, 2022 10:44 PM (MST)

  • Delia and Drew, the renters of my rv, are rockstars. 20 something year olds, travelers, chill in a proactive way unlike soco.
  • Driving the rv two blocks to target where I’m spending my first night was a spiritual experience
  • Walked around target, people in SLC have been friendly. I thought it strange to see middle schoolers without parents playing in the parking lot at 10pm
  • This van is the perfect build. Ford transit makes for nice driving, similar to a truck. Most the interior is the hard metal shell. Queen size bed. Storage nicely organized underneath. Huge ass fridge that keeps good cold. Backup battery powered by solar. It’s hacked together and I f love it.
  • @August 26, 2022 11:39 PM (MST) I woke up to the sound of doors closing. I look out the sheets… a guy in a white mask walks towards the van. He stops. In my boxers I jump into the driver’s seat. They speed away. I speed away. Wtf first night.
  • Breathe
  • @August 27, 2022 12:02 PM (CST) I returned to the lot, the apartment complex, I picked up the van, and slept well.

@August 26, 2022 6:43 PM (CST)

  • The connection challenge is a week long of exercises which prompt the more scary parts of ourselves to come forward. I asked my dad to take it with me and he did even though it frightened him. He said he knew it was important to me. Today’s exercise was called I Judge Myself. Person A says, I judge myself for blank, Person B responds, I welcome your blank. Within the first minute of ten, I got choked up. “I judge myself for not having a family of my own” my father says, “I welcome you not having a family of your own, and I’m not here to change you.” … this is something he oftens asks me about and wishes changed. And yet he’s here looking me in the eye, saying he welcomes all of me. A bit later, “I judge myself for my sensitivity”, which is something I believe he’s tamped down to make me easier to handle. And here he responds, “I welcome your sensitivity, and I’m not here to change you.” … that’s not just an exercise. That’s not to be shrugged off. My father, no matter what I would’ve said, he would have welcomed me and loved me no less.
  • Bonus he often said judgements of his own which I see directly in me. The generational patterns are so clear. God, thank you dad.

@August 26, 2022 6:10 PM (CST)

  • I’m sobbing on my flight. There’s no going back. I feel like a plastic bag in the wind would make me cry right now. I’m so god damn grateful for Joe, the spiritual path, goodness, pearls, my dad, my dad fucking welcoming all of me, fluffy clouds, my dad confront discomfort, Jazzwall and Andrea, Wolves by Maggie Rodgers, fucking burning man, myself, sharing tears with a stranger — sharing tears with my dad — being rejected my WOP for mentorship. Goodness.
  • I have to share my mix of softness, sensitivity, naivety with the world. It’s why I’m here. And it requires zeros words.
  • The world moves fucking too fast for me. I adapted to the to fit in which was a perfect when to contain my emotions and ensure I don’t make others uncomfortable. But nope. That’s being grieved. And I will cause conflict in you. For goodness sake.
  • I feel a bit like the baby who’s been learning to walk and just discovered a corner of the house full of candy. I’m gonna fall and struggle to walk somedays but the candy. The candy.

@August 26, 2022 5:08 PM (CST)

  • this video captured my essence

@August 26, 2022 5:06 PM (CST)

  • Love over defense with Cata. She’s disconnected, that’s not yours! Keep with the love while simply observing her disconnection as it is. With goodness

@August 26, 2022 5:06 PM (CST)

  • you can freeze water and take it on your flight?

@August 26, 2022 4:44 PM (CST)

  • tea’s origin is as a medicine. Coffee’s is as a stimulant
  • If Americans didn’t hate the British control we’d be drinking tea daily

@August 26, 2022 4:17 PM (CST)

  • I’m a third wheel in a conversation. I feel pressure to speak. What do I say? Something in me believes I can connect by speaking and by the words I say. But he’s wrong. I can always connect by sinking into the moment. How’s that feel?

@August 25, 2022 8:14 PM (CST)

  • How about some advice on being overwhelmed with options, if you have any?
  • tips from a writer much better than me: “Feel it out by writing. The best way to locate what you should write about is, write something, anything, and if you feel like procrastinating on it by writing about something else, follow that feeling.”
  • What’s been on your mind? Write about that.
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@August 25, 2022 1:04 PM (CST)

  • around … a round

@August 24, 2022 8:46 PM (CST)

  • I resent stores that sell cheap shit — hot topic, spencers gifts. I rather go to a thrift store.

@August 23, 2022 3:32 PM (CST)

  • The most important thing I’ve learned in 2022: Every time we judge someone, it tells us an emotion we avoid and it tells us something we don’t like in ourselves

@August 23, 2022 3:30 PM (CST)

  • my dad is in town. I really don’t want to lose connect with myself while he’s here

@August 23, 2022 3:20 PM (CST)

  • I like this quality. It’s to see the goodness underneath the stories we tell ourselves. Our intentions, unless we’re a psychopath, are out of love. If we are fighting ourselves, how isn’t that a fight for love? If we feel like a child asking for advice to our boss, how isn’t that respecting his opinion?
image

@August 23, 2022 3:14 PM (CST)

  • mind out races the body —
  • Melissa paraphrased: writing by hand helps the body keep pace with the mind, unlike typing

@August 23, 2022 10:51 AM (CST)

  • Coffee is like a drug for the mind. Tea is a drug for the soul.
  • Coffee causes the mind to race ahead of the body, while tea causes them to race together. (major bro science here but I know the caffeine in tea activities differently)
  • Coffee instantly inspired the mind which begins to race. Tea is a slow release and allows the body to be awoken with the mind. Perhaps this is what makes tea a better drink for divergence and first drafts, whereas coffee it’s a mental convergence.

@August 23, 2022 10:20 AM (CST)

Victor Wooten -bass clinic - wrong notes

  • Every wrong note has a right note right beside it. Victor’s says you can always make wrong note into music.
  • “The right key” isn’t important. It’s matching the feeling. You can play the right key with the wrong feeling and be completely disorientated. Writing is the same. I just wrote a 3000 word essay on rewriting at the word level — every word is crucial. But this proves otherwise. You can have throw away sentences (wrong notes) but if the tone and feeling are right, the essay feels like music. Essays that have captured a part of me are for their consistent feeling and tone. Vulnerable essay written in a informal meander, Wondrous essays written with playfulness and curiosity, Reflective essays and so on.

@August 22, 2022 11:45 AM (CST)

  • The only time that I feel truly seen in during 4 minutes of held eye contact. That’s the space where I let the orchestra of emotions frantically alter my face.

@August 22, 2022 11:44 AM (CST)

  • I pause to paint my nails
  • I pause to celebrate sending a newsletter

@August 21, 2022 11:15 AM (CST)

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@August 21, 2022 10:31 AM (CST)

  • I feel like a 35 yo child and I really fight that feeling

@August 20, 2022 11:19 AM (CST)

  • To rewrite is to empower your reader, unless you’re rewriting to hide and skew your truth.

@August 19, 2022 8:00 PM (CST)

  • twitter like extreme voices because they speak to hidden, not fully formed parts of ourselves
  • twitter hates confused voices unless they are bewildered and constantly bewildered by life, they have it no other way

@August 19, 2022 8:00 PM (CST)

  • if I could stop one habit it would be tapping my phone screen even when i didnt hear a notification

@August 19, 2022 4:33 PM (CST)

  • This is the greatest thing I’ve seen on youtube for this man made one video, no bullshit, then never posted again. Some comments
  • “And that is how legends are born... was he even real? ️No one knows.. we just know how to cook a potato in the microwave....”

    “This man got 4k subs off 1 video. Then he disappeared into the sunset with his potato. He was a smart potato loving man and we all loved him for it. Amen.”

@August 18, 2022 5:41 PM (CST)

  • punish the pause episode 2: allowing body to catch up

@August 18, 2022 11:09 AM (CST)

  • A friend said his camp is full. My second camp rejection and the rejection of a great serendipitous opportunity with him. Cue overwhelming emotions that I fucking flop around and pout trying to deal with.
  • I’m wavering between “what the fuck did you do Andrew, this trip is never going to work, you’re alone and fucked” and hmmmmm, I feel for you. Over these next 20 days, I will grow compassion and love for myself, I know it. I find it always there, when I pause. Life slows down. It becomes simpler. My only expectations transform into an adventure into the unknown where there’s characters and nature and whole a desert of dust.

@August 17, 2022 1:16 PM (CST)

  • I booked an rv in salt Lake Utah
  • 2 minutes later I learn I have a friend in Austin who’s also going who also has zero things booked. I hope to struggle with a buddy in the journey

@August 17, 2022 1:05 PM (CST)

  • what’s on my body’s mind?

@August 16, 2022 6:41 PM (CST)

  • burning man is in 12 days and I received an unexpected ticket today… I have zero things plan. help me god.

@August 16, 2022 6:32 PM (CST)

  • “Wood must be heated to ignite it and bring out the hidden fire within”

@August 16, 2022 3:27 PM (CST)

  • people note take because they don’t let that ever so important thought enter their system if you never want to take a note again, while never forgetting an important note, let those thoughts into your system until you have an emotional reaction. Then move on note taking is useful because most of hte time, we don’t have the space to do that. Our mind is pushed further ahead by on going meetings and such. Our body falls further and further behind until the end of the day, our will power is gone and our body no where to be found

@August 15, 2022 7:24 PM (CST)

  • turtle slogging through sea weed infested with blue rubber gloves, cardboard, and tins. The slug parts ways on his neck

@August 15, 2022 4:41 PM (CST)

  • Pause to look at what’s going on

@August 15, 2022 4:20 PM (CST)

  • Billie Happier than Ever deepens in emotion magnificently

@August 13, 2022 6:10 PM (CST)

  • bugs constantly biting me

@August 13, 2022 2:29 PM (CST)

  • I want to soften my body. I have no need for the muscular armor I’ve forged

@August 12, 2022 9:36 AM (CST)

  • I'm enjoying writing again... IKEA Words essay was a slog. During the early stages, we found this phrase IKEA Words. Both of us laughed at how perfect it was. Then I had to write my ideas through that lens. It felt forced, and I struggled to find a consistent voice in the essay. Today I'm relieved it's done and I'm enjoying writing without that pressure looming.

@August 10, 2022 11:18 AM (CST)

Notes from Joojo Magical Metaphor

  • Implied, Mixed, Extended Metaphors (thank you Joojo)
    • Implied: She’s the black sheep of the family.
    • Mixed: He dove face first into his work
    • Extended: She’s the black sheep of the family.

@August 9, 2022 9:43 PM (CST)

  • “I made it up, that’s different than lying”

@August 9, 2022 4:53 PM (CST)

  • 404 system error, mind blankness, is a pointer to juicy emotion

@August 9, 2022 4:51 PM (CST)

  • apologies are to reconnect with the other person. What are you apologies doing?

@August 9, 2022 9:04 AM (CST)

  • Recognize progress in yourself and. in others

@August 8, 2022 8:03 PM (CST)

  • Backlogged on ideas? Copy and paste the entire block of ideas into an essay and hit publish.
  • This is how Lil Wayne did it. He had journals full of lyrics and he wanted a fresh start. He recorded a 35 min song of him rapping 10,000 bars.
  • This story actually goes that after rapping these written lyrics, he never ever wrote lyrics down again.
  • After you publish your essay ideas list, what would it look like to never capture another idea without it growing into an essay?

@August 8, 2022 7:52 PM (CST)

  • yoga has taught me to hold a can with my entire palm and fingers grounded against the metal. No raised pinky

@August 8, 2022 7:34 PM (CST)

  • I’ve developed a painful sensitivity to my friend’s stucknesses in life. I know of the tools. But I’m overwhelmed by options. I also feel guilty for wanting to help them. So right now I just want to be present with them. Be vulnerable myself.

@August 7, 2022 6:48 PM (CST)

  • how did some person named Jesus figure out how to live life thousands of years ago and I struggle to be present in nature, let alone with a stranger, LET ALONE WITH MY FATHER. ARG.

@August 7, 2022 6:24 PM (CST)

  • I don’t understand this does it mean you’re a female or born a female? #IkeaWords
image

@August 7, 2022 5:47 PM (CST)

image
  • ignoring why these trees are blue, What austin lacks is nature that you can wander off trail. This, in pesse park is the first glimpse I’ve seen of that within the city. It’s no Stanley park but I welcome it wholeheadedly
  • Wooded trails where you don’t know what’s on the other side. Surprise! A statue. Surprise! stone steps. Surprise! A creek. I can go 10 rounds without being knockout by that

@August 7, 2022 4:27 PM (CST)

  • a candle flickered is yoga

@August 7, 2022 3:42 PM (CST)

  • New Yapp Reminder 5x/day: how can you embrace intensity of eye contact until words arise?

@August 7, 2022 12:43 PM (CST)

@August 7, 2022 12:21 PM (CST)

  • how can I speak from a boy who has no fucking idea what he’s doing?

@August 6, 2022 11:46 AM (CST)

  • “When we procrastinate we are either avoiding the stress of self judgement or taking a break from the constant shaming we lay on ourselves to do something.  No one wants to feel judged or shamed.  So the trick is not to make music but to make it without shame or judgement.” ”The movement that iteration gives us creates the freedom to mess up and feel ourselves again.” - Joe Hudson

@August 6, 2022 11:03 AM (CST)

  • Aug 6th, the day in Austin I have a dozen of social options. mmmmmm..

@August 6, 2022 10:59 AM (CST)

  • A moment of pause — beyond the reactions of the mind & “what to say” — embracing intensity of eye contact with a friend I’ve known for 20 years yet never like this. In that space, words flowed.

@August 5, 2022 1:38 PM (CST)

  • reposting here… people turn their eye at this idea. I need to write about it at length.
  • image

(I went from Arthur Plainview to Andrew Plainview recently. Plainview is a pseudonym. Andrew is the name my parents decided matched my face.)

@August 4, 2022 8:56 PM (CST)

  • ancient yogis believe we have a fixed amount of breathes per life. If we can lengthen our breath, we lengthen our life

@August 4, 2022 5:10 PM (CST)

  • I want to slice your skin open with my words, so that you close my writing with a wound.

@August 3, 2022 4:04 PM (CST)

  • “Sir, do you have a few dollars you could spare?” ”I have a few bananas I could spare.” ”I can’t eat them, they constipate me.”

@August 2, 2022 10:25 PM (CST)

  • my partner said she like when I take a deep breath with my shoulder because she sees me relaxing into the interaction

@August 2, 2022 5:17 PM (CST)

  • tree fort community for the homeless

@August 1, 2022 10:00 PM (CST)

Mr. Bean lecture on physical humor

  • Body is a tool. Certain body types offer humor
  • clothes rarely fit perfectly. small varieties make into a completely different person. personality
  • principals
    • object/person can become funny by behaving in an unexpected way
    • object/person can become funny by being in an unexpected place
    • object/person can become funny by being unexpected size
  • in animation (and the imagination), when we take these principals to the extremes
  • communicate through body language: attitude
  • visual comedian has a quality of being born yesterday (unlike verbal comedian who’s witty)
    • breaking rules, don’t behave themselves, little regard for morality / social rules
    • difficulties with objects, clumsy
    • a threat to decent/respectable people, spreads confusion

@August 1, 2022 7:38 PM (CST)

  • acting despite the emotions I may feel

@July 29, 2022 10:42 AM (CST)

  • communal living notes from coffee
    • Denmark (+ other Scandinavian countries) are great templates
    • Community with agreements.
    • How to build a community l around AoA principals

@July 25, 2022 2:15 PM (CST)

  • my writing practice of welcoming words in until an image arises is becoming a practice with people in conversations
  • Welcome words
  • I find myself repeating the last thing they say, tasting it, welcoming it in. An image arises, always
  • Welcome words

@July 24, 2022 8:08 PM (CST)

Truth Spectrum, Media, News

image
image

@July 24, 2022 7:13 PM (CST)

  • I’m writing an essay that’s 3500 words long. The longest I’ve written. And for that, extra structure has been needed. Here’s the notes that’s helped. Introduction: everything in the introduction is true in all three sections. It’s likea. personified internal problem that I’m facing. The introduction closes with three questions, which set up the next three sections. It’s like a pop song. One progression: what draws me to poor writing? what are the consequences? how to fix bad habits? This miniual structure saves headaches. If information within a section doesn’t fit the question, it must be moved. This creates an editing cycle of, “rewrite to fit the question”, “rewrite for flow”, “rewrite to fit the question”, and so on.. When the logical flow is set, it’s time to focus on language. Choose the terms so that they build in meaning. I’m in this stage right now and I’ve used twenty or more adjectives to describe the same thing. By reducing to the most essential, we can build a story behind that language.

@July 23, 2022 8:16 AM (CST)

  • I like the phrase, in touch, and it touched me. I see it as a deep, it entered myself system and I welcomed it in. I felt it deeply

@July 23, 2022 8:13 AM (CST)

  • Heartbreak is being triggered and having the capacity to welcome it in with love. To feel it fully. Often that capacity is gained by a change of a belief or story.
  • As Joe says, each time we feel heartbreak, we increase our capacity to love.

@July 22, 2022 7:57 PM (CST)

  • The best writing is personal, it’s emerging from a life lived. This poses a problem when you’re ghost writing or writing for a brand, unless you study and embody the life. Treat the brand as a real person.

@July 22, 2022 6:58 PM (CST)

  • Human evolution (growth) doesn’t happen from trying. It happens from awareness. Here’s Joe’s cycle, want ⇒ grateful for growth ⇒ a new awareness to the body ⇒ enjoy ⇒ I am ⇒ want ⇒ …

@July 21, 2022 10:05 AM (CST)

  • I found this interesting from a specific/visual POV
  • You edited a sentence to be more specific: Pope Francis baptizes the table and it prances around like a Great Dane. The specifics are great, but I find a generalization more visual…

    Pope Francis touches it’s tabletop and it prances around like a Great Dane.

    Reminded me of your quote in last essay: “The images are specific, but open-ended.” Touches tabletop is a bit more open-ended and for that it animates more in my mind

@July 21, 2022 9:36 AM (CST)

  • a friend asked me, What's been your story as a writer so far? What got you here and what interests you about writing? I want to share it here. I love writers.
  • My writing story? I spent my 20s in engineering and computer programming and playing poker. I never wrote. I traveled a lot. I felt a lot. I had wrote a lot, but everything I wrote was political, persuading, befriending, and selling to other poker players.

    Five years ago or so my curiosity for my profession (poker) waned and was replaced with a curiosity for language and writing. I'm obsessing, and very much all or nothing. So the first thing I did was set out to write a fiction novel. Every morning for 3 months I wrote 500 words, and 120,000 words later I had a novel. Awful and confusing and wonderful and inspiring all together.

    Later I hired a writing coach to navigate me through a second novel, worked with her for 1.5 years, didn't get far, and eventually gave it up. I instead joined the Write of Passage community (WOP).

    In WOP I found a style of writing that's fun and personal, and a style I really enjoy writing. It blends personal essays with magical realism. Example: https://www.andrewplainview.com/healthy-hope

    Now I write every day. I like to write about language, mindfulness, emotions, and personal stories. Sometimes flash fiction.

    Dreams? Goals? I dream of being low-key famous for my writing, for my stories. You know, I'm at a coffee shop an a girl in glasses says "hi, I love your writing." Ugh.

@July 20, 2022 3:21 PM (CST)

  • let fully in, let it touch you, and wonder about it
  • if you did this in your community, what would your life look like?

@July 19, 2022 7:03 PM (CST)

Notes from Michael essay on Jack Kerouac

  • While short clear sentences best be the norm, mix in sentences that wander through brain associations, linking-your-thinking, creating maps for the reader to walk their eyes along to the final treasure. Themselves.
  • The images are specific, but open-ended.
  • associations going deeper and deeper. It reminds me of A to C
  • “He would likely get drunk and violent if you asked him to write short, clear sentences, that each convey one idea to the reader.”
image
  • @July 20, 2022 6:29 PM (CST) sentence inspired by Jack: The exchanges between you and Joe were beautiful. They always felt relatable, intimate, almost too much so, pleasure and pain is intense, like relationship with a loved one, I love you, and much more like a friend, a fellow human, a smile, a frown, a flash of guilt -- the silvering of a glass, a mirror for own reflection.

@July 19, 2022 6:16 PM (CST)

  • An idea, a life principal that keeps revisiting me is allow others to effect you.
  • Support others art or experiments or pursuits.
  • When you read their message, take it in, and reply in words that contain what you took in.
  • The more you allow someone in, the greater your capicity to love. (love over defense)
  • This doesn’t mean lose yourself in the other.

@July 19, 2022 9:33 AM (CST)

  • I like this style choice in a happy face
  • image

@July 17, 2022 10:10 AM (CST)

  • ask scary questions, do scary actions, share scary experiences — all from a place of empowerment — and you will evolve like a baby learning to walk

@July 17, 2022 10:04 AM (CST)

  • Anger unresisted ⇒ determination, clarity Sadness unresisted ⇒ pleasure, gratitude Fear unresisted ⇒ excitement Shame unresisted ⇒ self-love Guilt unresisted ⇒ reconnection VIH unresisted ⇒ “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh”

@July 16, 2022 9:59 AM (CST)

  • Creating daily is powerful because you create stories and ways of using language which build on top of each other. A character shows up in an essay, and soon he pokes his head in for a reference in other parts of your life. He takes on a story. Same with Coined Terms and building meaning behind the words you write. That’s the power in publishing daily.

@July 15, 2022 12:56 PM (CST)

  • how does seedless watermelon reproduce? #tweet

@July 15, 2022 9:24 AM (CST)

  • "snakes are wise because their whole body is in contact with the earth" #tweet This morning, my yoga teacher said this, and although I'm unsure how to relate it to the work, I'm sure I'll go lay in some grass today.

@July 15, 2022 9:22 AM (CST)

  • Realizations, when they are good, are the end of one story and the beginning of a next.
  • Marine in class said, “the bell tolls for you” as a gong plays. It reminded me of For Whom the Bell Tolls. I told a story Marine reading that book and connecting it with gongs. It’s one thing for her to say, I realized … insert this connection. It’s another for that to just be part of her lexicon without ANY context.
  • How this looks on the page — here’s an edit @July 15, 2022 10:13 AM (CST) I want to bring in a quote from David. I write, “I already knew this trap; I had learned from David Perell in the Microwave Economy, “We’ve overwhelmingly used our wealth to make the world cheaper instead of more beautiful, more functional instead of more meaningful.”” If this “thing I learned from David” truly started a new story for me (and was integrated within me as a person), I wouldn’t talk about “I realized”, “I learned”, “David says” — instead I use the language in writing. I fell for the trap of the Microwave Economy, “We’ve overwhelmingly used our wealth to make the world cheaper instead of more beautiful, more functional instead of more meaningful.” - David Perrell I see the world through the lens of a Microwave Economy. The coined term is part of my story.

@July 14, 2022 9:17 AM (CST)

  • the key to a newsletter that’s always open is surprise. I don’t open some newsletters because I’m not in the mood for their writing, despite my love for their writing. Sasha Chapin is a great writer but his writing requires a mood of reflection. Often I want to skim, not for click bait, but for wonkiness of my friend’s life. Cam’s newsletter is great for that. Other times I just want to see wtf had been on my friend’s mind. Other times further I want a tiny piece of fiction like JooJo’s nutshell notes. If I never know what’s on the other side of my click, I’ll always click.

@July 13, 2022 8:10 PM (CST)

  • Essays often diverge into ideas which have no anchor. This creates a reading experience without a story building. No words are gaining meaning. No behaviors are changing. The fix is to focus on the words on the page. What words build meaning. Limit the imagery. Focus on the building images and words.

@July 13, 2022 6:36 PM (CST)

  • “Tomorrow-you only gets to be the person today-you sets them up to be. And today-you can only make positive decisions by having a realistic picture of tomorrow-you, and doing your utmost to set that person up for success.” - Raina … so pick up your f house, Andrew

@July 12, 2022 2:58 PM (CST)

  • Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh”
  • I fear feeling guilt and more deeply helplessness, unless I let a bit in at a time. Bear a little bit. Over time I burst out laughing at God’s standup show.

@July 11, 2022 9:31 AM (CST)

  • Capital S Self is the soul that existed before the body and will exist after. Hunter S Thompson uses a lot of capitalizations ironically. From Michael Dean:
  • image

@July 11, 2022 9:20 AM (CST)

  • fun essay: write essay on a Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum. There are many truths to any given situation. It all depends on context. We’re all coming from different experiences. But it’s the writers job to choose an experience, rather than try and objectively state something. The more we can push into each of our experiences, the more we'll learn here, rather than abstracting into a point everyone will again with.
    • perhaps a good unique perspective essay for WOP9
    • Other Related Ideas
      Joe has a quote about this.
      • context clues
      • author’s job to put a stake in the gorund

@July 11, 2022 9:14 AM (CST)

  • lol, I’m google idioms in Sanskrit… this is great: वलीमुखनारिकेलः [valiimukhanarikelah]-coconut in monkey's mouth.a thing under possession of some1 who doesn't know its usage.

@July 10, 2022 8:41 PM (CST)

  • week’s goals: @July 10, 2022 - @July 17, 2022
  • finish first draft of essay — a story journey, which forever changes the way the reader sees IKEA words
  • get feedback from 5 people, on first draft of my essay
  • attend anger pop up: wave, enjoy, get fucking mad
  • leave 5 comments on circle that are personal, vulnerable, and playful.
  • take photos with IKEA table: 1 fun builder, 1 cool custom made table, 1 uncommon object
  • book flight to mpls
  • YTT notes, rough drafts of at least 3 notes

@July 10, 2022 7:18 PM (CST)

  • taught yoga first the first day

@July 9, 2022 7:01 PM (CST)

  • Tips for embracing sensitivity
    1. be in body 10% more
    2. grounding, soles of my feet
    3. What am I essentially?
    4. oneness

@July 9, 2022 7:01 PM (CST)

  • Joe in 10 minutes changes the way someone cries from the rest of their life.

@July 9, 2022 6:57 PM (CST)

  • Today I began yoga teacher training. I liked relating the yoga philosophy to VIEW / AoA. I loved tinkering with the language I’ll use as an instructor. How to best instruct someone through yoga?

@July 8, 2022 4:28 PM (CST)

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@July 7, 2022 5:32 PM (CST)

  • I’m starting a movement: no more “How are you doing?”, rather “What are three words to describe how you are doing?”

@July 7, 2022 12:58 PM (CST)

  • I’m taking a course that has different sections on circle: gratitude, share your experience, vulnerable Qs. I’m noticing the tone and emotion of my writing shifting in each. gratitude is joyous and playful. share experience is intellectual, explaining. vulnerable is informal, scary, raw.

@July 7, 2022 12:48 PM (CST)

  • I can embrace my low energy by using the time to recognize meaning and assumptions and what’s happening. I can slow the world down for others.
  • I’m super attractive to the identity of being plain. I beat myself up for being low energy, constantly shun that identity away. But what if it’s because my low energy, that I can lively plainly, simply, presently.
  • Plain texting is being direct, not writing with hidden meanings. I used to two text my friends with so much hidden meaning. I always thought it’s how you make jokes, let them figure it out. And I was good at this. But plain texting is the opposite. It’s writing one thing in each message. Here’s an example: my friend wrote, “there is something so precious about you”. I was busy at the time. And I responded, “I wish I had time to just sit with this text.” I’m saying two things here. What would be plainer is “I’m busy and I wish I had time to sit with this text.” Plain texting. This also goes for asking questions and checking assumptions.
  • Being low energy, I have the time to slow down and check in with that. This creates more interesting, honest, clear conversations. It slows people down from jumping to conclusions. It’s a gift that I’ve shunned.
Dont rush the conversatiion: previous me would’ve ask the date after the first text, probably even planned it.
image
  • #Personal Monopoly

@July 7, 2022 9:30 AM (CST)

  • Vulnerability: ask questions that might get you in trouble.

@July 7, 2022 9:27 AM (CST)

  • context clue is a specific perspective. what’s the relatable experience? who’s telling this paragraph?

@July 6, 2022 4:32 PM (CST)

  • There’s a macro and micro in essay writing, as Michael Dean says. The Macro is structure. The Micro is voice. I’m currently writing an essay with him and it’s clarifying these for me. Structure is the logical argument of an essay and how that is told creatively. In my essay, it’s a message of “by understand the culture of IKEA and how it relates to writing, you can become a better writer.” And the essay paragraphs build that. Voice is a person on the page, the experience of the author who’s writing the essay. What is motivating this author to write this piece? some examples - the writer could be a mega IKEA fan, because IKEA always him to customize furniture and make it his own. he treats IKEA furniture like modules to create things in his house. - an eclectic home designer who definitely does not appeal to the masses (shops at uncommon objects) - an artist who lives his art. building a table, he puts on a flannel and fells a tree. - a man who move into an empty apartment with just a backpack after 10 years of travel - Orwell in the present day walking through IKEA To weave in this voice, there’s options - choose one voice and send them on a journey to meet these other people - choose one voice and have them take on different personifies - choose one voice, let a fire in their belly, and have them rant about IKEA My approach in progress - an artist who lives his art. building a table, he puts on a flannel and fells a tree. falls prey to the temptation of IKEA. he feels he’s sinned. and it’s a confession piece.

@July 6, 2022 2:08 PM (CST)

  • i fucking love cliche language and jokes. They capture relatable human experiences, and with little effort can be personalized to unique fit the situation.
  • Cliche: this warms my heart. Possible situations: my brother having his first child warms my heart, and democrats and republicans agreeing on a issue warms my heart. The trick is mutating the phrase to the perspective of the situation.
  • The trick is with conceptual language. We use conceptual words as one-size-fits all truths, confident it will people please. “I want to avoid a nationalist reaction by Germans” covers all nationalist reactions. It’s safe. But it’s lacking character. Rather: “I want to avoid thousands of people marching down the street, chanting impeach the chancellor.”

@July 6, 2022 2:04 PM (CST)

  • I hold my loneliness in the air passage between my chest bone and my throat. As I have opened that passage an acute bronchitis developed. The densest sensation is in my Adam’s apple. It’s Arthur’s apple. I want others to taste it. I want to offer its juice to those who share my garden.

@July 3, 2022 12:31 PM (CST)

  • sensibility, the ability to sense something and react to it
  • sense, the ability to feel something
  • sense, common sense, most people can feel whatever is common sense
  • sensitivity, the ability to understand what other people need and to be helpful to them
    • this way of using sensitivity is the damn near the same as sensibility
  • a second way of using sensitivity is about a persons ability to react strongly to a situation
    • if a microphone is sensitive it can record small differences, indistinguishable by human ear
    • a human microphone

@July 1, 2022 7:49 PM (CST)

@June 26, 2022 5:01 PM (CST)

@June 26, 2022 8:50 AM (CST)

  • What if every time I had a desire to do something, instead of committing a block of my day, what if I acted out the smallest version of it I could imagine? How would this chain of impulses link together? What is tethered at the end? Example, I often think “I should write,” which signals at this chore to write for 2 hours, complete a first draft which 100% is playful and good and I had fun doing it, of course. Instead what if I notice that impulse and simply I wrote one sentence. How does that feel? Or maybe I don’t even write a sentence; I read a sentence from the essay in progress. How that feel? “I should go to the gym.” Stand up, do 10 jumping jacks. Check in how that feels.
  • I tend to go “all-in” or nothing. I joined a gym which I pay $200/month to be a member. I scan my phone to check-in four times a month, $50 a scan. I think I should go to the gym 30+ times a month. I need nice gym clothes, I need a workout plan, I need to change my diet, I need to be social and make friends etc. etc. Those are my expectations, so that when I have an impulse to move my body — I shame myself. What if I remove ALL expectations. Cancel my gym membership. Focus on my impulses. Would they lead me back to the gym? Will I rejoin the gym but now from a different mindset?
  • Intentions aren’t the enemy, unless they are overly-specific and controlling. Intentions are setting a “win” for the week. Wins simply require an action and a few descriptive words. Also if you don’t complete these, it’s because of three possibilities. The goals were too specific and large. You didn’t follow your impulses. Your impulses are leading you in a different direction, a direction that is important to note.
    1. @June 26, 2022 - @July 3, 2022

    2. post three things on circle that are personal, vulnerable, and playful.
    3. calculate DCA for crypto and stocks over next 5 years that comforts me to pursue writing
      • buy a stock, buy a crypto
    4. journal daily about what I want in life, writing in the present tense & with specific, visual actions
    5. attend 1 dance event and at least 3 times check in with your loneliness.
    6. by Wednesday afternoon, have studio essay first draft written, which forever changes the way the reader sees IKEA words (ready-made phrases).
  • I trust that I will write even though it’s noon and I’m standing in the 2nd floor parking lot, for god know why. I didn’t trust myself before. I had just wrote for an hour and I wanted to get out. While walking, I realized this is all about trust. And I know, perhaps for the first time, that I’ll write more later. I feel it. I want it.
  • At home, we’re too often triggered by objects around our house (digital and physical) and they distract our deeper impulses

@June 24, 2022 4:23 PM (CST)

@June 24, 2022 10:55 AM (CST)

  • My writing has leaped to the next level. I find myself writing first drafts with playful language, personal language, concrete and relatable language. It may not show in my notes here, because I rush these. But I’m certain in it. (These notes are more like digital chicken scratch than first drafts, which I’m ashamed of because I wrote a whole essay making the point of NOT writing in digital chicken scratch. Fuck.)
Example of a first draft
image
  • The principals

@June 23, 2022 9:17 AM (CST)

  • Cliche of the week: Tip of my Tongue
  • I understand it to mean the feeling when you struggle to complete a thought but the words aren’t coming to you.
  • I picture, every time you attempt to speak, the words stick to your tongue. the breathe of air swirls and latches down.
  • Origin: “The term "tip of the tongue" is borrowed from colloquial usage, and possibly a calque from the French phrase avoir le mot sur le bout de la langue ("having the word on the tip of the tongue").” - wikipedia
  • Tip of Tongue State has extensively been studied as a phycological state. What causes it? Psychologists William James and Freud were even interesting it the phenomenon. - psychology fandom
    • “God, I know her name.. It starts with a ‘m’. Ma.. Me.. God, it gets traps in my frontal lobe. Ahhhh, come on right inferior PFC, active so I can retrieve this name!”
    • “I’m been searching for her name for a minute. I feel like I’m on the brink of a sneeze for a minute straight. “
    • This state reminds me of “trying”, and the difference between trying to pull your hands apart and pulling your hands apart. We can try to do something and actually resist the action. Or we can ‘go with the flow’.
      • When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead, you relax, and float.” – Alan Watts
  • Cultural References
    1. Kenny Chesney - “Tip Of My Tongue”, which is about licking and taste. I twist it, “I can taste the words. I’m licking them, it taste like it starts with a ‘m’.”
    2. 1885. Anton Chekhov's short story "A Horsey Name" is about the main character's tip-of-the-tongue experience involving a surname

@June 22, 2022 11:05 AM (CST)

I like the look of accidental double spaces. It’s refreshing.

@June 20, 2022 12:18 PM (CST)

  • I resist time on the cushion. “HEY intellect! I’ve been listening to you for 20+ years. Let’s give anger 5 minutes.”

@June 20, 2022 10:00 AM (CST)

  • Some brilliance being spoken by M.Dean
  • If you look at music, writing, architecture, there's like three realms: the idea, the macro, and the micro. The idea is you had some experience in your life; it’s like some event breakup, right? And then the macro is the structure of the song; it's the chord progression. And then the micro is at the tone of the instruments; it’s like the Blues harmonica or the distortion that guitar solo; it’s like a band Sonic identity, right? Like you could have the Beatles play a blues song and BB King play the same progression, but they have very different voices and how they render it. And so there's like these three variables in music and like, often when you have a cover, right? What they do is they take the same exact identical structure, same idea, but they pivot the voice of it. If that's like what a good cover is in my opinion. Like Jimi Hendrix, covering a Bob Dylan song is very different. A lot of just like amateur cover bands, they try and mimic the voice of the band, and then just copying all three things. But in any case, like it's generally very hard to do all to innovate all three things at once. To say I'm gonna have an original crazy idea. Invent the structure for it in my own voice. It's much easier to be like, I have a crazy idea. Let me just copy Hunter S Thompson because that's like, definable, and like, let me just do a five paragraph essay, but the idea is crazy. Or I'm gonna just use the Star Wars template, but I'm gonna really focus on like imagery. And so it's like, there's this act of isolating your variables or if your author unknowns, which is how I, probably the last 10 years of my life, I was always trying to just solve all the variables. At once. I think when you start to isolate and say, I'm going to be very regular in this one, so I can really explore that one thing. It's usually like really helpful, and you can really strengthen that one side.

@June 19, 2022 7:43 PM (CST)

  • “Stuck in my head” isn’t about thought patterns, like I had always thought. It’s about constriction in my face. Unfetter the sensations!

@June 19, 2022 11:17 AM (CST)

  • making cliches original by changing a single word is the perfect punch line. I see authors all the time write a paragraph with a powerful point, but because it’s filled with Ready-made language, it’s dull and hard to hear. It’s worth its weight in mold.
  • describing bros getting in bar fights. Punch-line of the paragraph: Another day, another brawler.

@June 18, 2022 4:54 PM (CST)

  • apologies lead to deep conversations, fwiw

@June 18, 2022 2:16 PM (CST)

  • Psychedelics assist in being aware of sensations and contritions in your body. After you move them, you have clarity. BUT you never learn the skill of doing this sober. Superheros are able to feel and process unwanted feelings.

@June 17, 2022 9:49 AM (CST)

  • Oneness, Enlightenment, Presence whatever words I title this experience will cloud its existence. I wish to put all the words on it, even those unspoken.
  • Instead, here’s an experiment: With your right index finger, point at an object. See the object. Next, point at your foot. See the foot. Point at your chest. See the chest. And now, please point at your face. What do you see the finger pointing at? I genuinely want to know your answer. What do you see the finger pointing at? Now, experiment two, take your left index finger and point it the opposite direction as your right index finger. Move them so your right index finger points at your face and left the opposite direction. What do you see each finger pointing at? Oneness is the space in between both of those. It’s the space in both of those. Inhabiting both of those. Oneness is in the nothingness and the everythingness simultaneously.
  • A week ago, I tickled that space for the first time. During a guided meditation, I was guided to put my awareness on my inner ear. I heard my breath; smooth, wave-like. (for any yogis: ujjayi breathe. air flows through your throat like you’re fogging up a window with your breathe; but your mouth is closed) I heard breath. I also heard cars passing, my fridge humming, and birds being vocal. The inner ear was the space between — the space where I witnessed my truth as a human breathing into life AND I witnessed the truth of the world breathing and chripping into life. I feel a profound comfort by bridging the two and uniting the worlds together.
    • [great potential image here. I see myself, arms stretched out, one hand in nothingness, the second in eveythingness. My body is the bridge for traffic to move back and forth]
  • Other experiences to pull into
    • “accidental oneness”
    • Waking Up (Sam Harris) ⇒ The Headless Way ⇒ Pointer Exercise
    • Drawing on Right Side of the Brain, the gesult ⇒ seeing gesult for first time in Argentina
    • My infatuation with tunnels and roads that narrow into a single point in the distance (perspective horizon drawings)

@June 16, 2022

@June 16, 2022 6:09 PM (CST)

  • the state of the internet, family members text screenshots of headlines and write the conclusion they made having read the headline
image

@June 15, 2022

@June 15, 2022 6:18 PM (CST)

  • I may be the first person in the world to do a handstand in crocs

@June 15, 2022 5:37 PM (CST)

  • Write conversationaly, a somber wonderer — end without resolve but in a question.
    • Don’t add context.
    • Afterwards, edit at the word level.

@June 15, 2022 11:48 AM (CST)

  • Twitterpated, what a great word I learned.
    • “Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime”
    • First saw in Sasha’s writing: “But here, precisely, is the difference between love as a feeling, and love as an existential mode. The former is the good brain drugs. The latter is a willingness to be with the fullness of another being, to open yourself to anything they are. The former is not always available, because not everything makes you feel twitterpated.”

@June 14, 2022 9:55 PM (CST)

  • After a day on the computer, I needed fresh air. I grabbed my journal, got in my car, and drove down to the lake. I parked. I realized I forgot my pen. To journal, I had to either drive home and grab a pen or ask someone and pray they had a pen. It didn’t look good. So I went on a walk instead. I met a man who was fishing. “Catching anything? I asked. He said no. “You gotta go downstream, towards the Gulf.” He casts his rod. The lure snags a branch. Minutes later, I’m shaking the tree, damn near climbing the tree. The fisherman yanks the role repeatedly. The lure escape… into a new branch. I shake again. He yanks agains. It escapes again. Into a new branch again. But now the branch is in reach. I reach out and pull it closer. The lure pokes me. I unsnag it and give it to the fisherman. It was a nice way to spend the evening.

@June 13, 2022

  • I ate spicy chicken Chinese food. Mouth was numb, so I cooled off with a pedialyte popsicle. It didn’t help the numbness but it was damn tasty.

@June 12, 2022

@June 12, 2022 10:07 AM (CST)

  • “M’lady is 7 months pregnant.” I like M’lady

@June 11, 2022

Yo-yos at Paul’s w/ Kevin easing us

@June 10, 2022

Simone Therapy, VIEW conversation, taxes

@June 10, 2022 10:05 AM (CST)

  • What is expected of me? How can I break those expectations to connect 10% more? I want to tickle connection

@June 10, 2022 9:49 AM (CST)

  • I learned people look up to me for lifestyle design — is that something I offer others ?

@June 9, 2022

@June 9, 2022 6:24 PM (CST)

  • Connection over perfect: "everything is an iteration”

@June 8, 2022

Phil and I sit vipassana

@June 8, 2022 8:54 AM (CST)

  • yoga practice, building meaning into a movement. Marine today: blanket, bridge, slide blanket out and focus on hamstrings. Every movement after that, refering to the bridge experience

@June 8, 2022 8:29 AM (CST)

  • my inner spirit is a crap-ass this morning, displeased with everyone and with myself

@June 7, 2022

@June 7, 2022 9:39 PM (CST)

  • Small Bets 3
    1. image
    2. Take stock of your assets
    3. Combine assets together into unique combinations
    4. Acquire assets through (1) learning & (2) allowing others to fill your flaws

@June 7, 2022 7:37 PM (CST)

  • Objective: copy one google doc and the comments (feedback given) into an already started google doc. This objective took me deep into google’s API. The closest I got was to make the comments under my own name, rather than the other writer’s name. That’s not what I wanted. So I took a screenshot and pasted it.
image
image

  • The code I wrote (I haven’t written code for years)
  • image
  • Learnings
    1. you can do a lot with google’s API.
    2. gDoc templates

@June 7, 2022 5:27 PM (CST)

If you're funny, write with wit. If you're angry, write with fire. If you’re inspired, write with zest. - WOP team

@June 7, 2022 2:09 PM (CST)

  • great memory from poland, rock-paper-scissors

@June 7, 2022 10:30 AM (CST)

  • My cohort based course: four week course on the imagination - entry is a screenshot of a $50 donation to a charity which encourages the imagination. (children charities, etc.)
    • Advertise with Miro Board Michael and I made (mostly Michael). It contains lecture ideas for years.
    • team up with Charlie who’s running Metaphor Alchemy
    • The Writing Studio Essay may be about “Men (and Women) who stare at words.” A student attends a secret military program, to be a wordsmith, trained to lure in the reader with images.” After the essay is written, it would be a fun follow up actually making this school.
      • have fun with it. wear camo. wear “new earth” military gear. kill your enemy with love

@June 6, 2022

Writing Studio kickoff call with Michael: watching him capture ideas in Miro. talking the imagination for 2 hours…

@June 6, 2022 8:00 PM (CST)

  • Men who stare at goats — notes.
    • “More of a true story if you believe” | a good quote for staring at words.
    • “psychic spys”
      • trained to kill animals
    • “jedi warriors”
    • how could love and peace be turned into a way to win wars?
    • Bill started the New Earth Army Manual
      • “the new earth is a banner for with the forces of good can gather. the courage of a warrior blended with the spirituality of a monk. The Jedi warrior will follow in the footsteps of the great imagineers of the past, Jesus Christ, Lao Tse Tung, Walt Disney. The role of The New Earth Army is to resolve conflict world-wide.”
    • Moments of change [is there a version of this in writing? acedemic? cliche?]
      • “You can dance, just someone told you not to.”
      • clean diet [like who you read and consume]

@June 6, 2022 7:30 PM (CST)

Notes, 1st Studio Meeting

  • For 2 hours Michael and I rifted on the imagination, cliched language, visuals, motifs, shiny dimes
  • The Miro board is filled with ideas for potential essays (Next task: write out sketches of the potential essays)

@June 5, 2022

impartial date with Emily. “I want to ask you about what caused you to be distant lately, but I’m not going to. I am telling you this to get it off my mind. I just want to have a fun, light night.

@June 5, 2022 9:07 AM (CST)

  • #StoryTold bread and olive oil

@June 5, 2022 9:05 AM (CST)

  • Draft Edit: Identify emotional sentences in an essay

@June 5, 2022 9:02 AM (CST)

  • Questions to return to
    VIEW
    1. Impartially

    2. What’s my agenda?
    3. What am I assuming?
    4. Vulnerability

    5. What might get me in trouble?
    6. Wonder

    7. What am I in awe about?
    8. What wrinkles do you notice on their body? How can I play?
    9. What context/perspective? (Dan little league coach)
    10. What’s awesome about that?
    11. Empathy

    12. What’s going on with them?

@June 5, 2022 8:55 AM (CST)

  • practice accessing emotions. how can you access anger? how can you access grief? intimidation?

@June 4, 2022

Dirty Chinese food with Nathaniel (our hunt for hole-in-the-walls)

@June 4, 2022 2:04 PM (CST)

“You could be blind folded and try 6-15 different Olive Garden dishes and guess “hmm Fettuccine Alfredo?” every time and not be wrong. #tweet Translation: it’s not good.”

@June 4, 2022 10:11 AM (CST)

  • Team Building Hacks (AoA)
  • “We are here for 30” ⇒ anytime a member says this, the group pauses for 30 seconds

    Clear lines on expectations for attendance, tardiness, and so on

    Accountability check-in:

    I chose to participate fully this week and I am comfortable with that choice.

    I chose to participate fully this week and I am uncomfortable with that choice.

    I chose not to participate fully this week and I am comfortable with that choice.

    I chose not to participate fully this week and I am uncomfortable with that choice.

    Shake it off from a minute

@June 4, 2022 9:47 AM (CST)

Master Class Goal Setting Questions

How do you want this course to change your life?

What is the one thing that if I changed, my life would be 2x better?

What issues will you continue to face if that part of your life does not change in the above way?

What benefits will you see when that part of your life had changed in the above way?

What would prevent you from doing the work that needs to be done?

AoA, potential changes to my life Log

@May 15, 2022 8:54 AM (CST)

  • Text and message from a place of connection, rather than perfection. Without agenda
  • Enjoyment of Writing and Relationships
  • Emotions Struggle with
    • Shame
    • Guilt
    • Anger
  • @May 24, 2022 11:47 AM (CST) Anger: what at the system am I angry about? what am I determined to change in my lifetime?
  • @June 4, 2022 imitation

@June 4, 2022I am on equal footing with everyone I interact with. I don’t judge them. No one intimidates me. I don’t accept crumbs. And when I fail to live these truths, I reconnect with myself. And I apologize when called to.“ I want to say this on July 22nd.

Meaningful events in route

  • My choice of partner for 1 on 1
  • Why do I feel intimidated to speak? What makes you put yourself below or above others?
  • Bath tub: grief over simple lifes lost, from desire of superiority
  • [Still haven’t posted my circle introduction, one week into the course]

@June 3, 2022

session 1 with Joe coaching. a day of untrying: emily, justiceforkobe.com, gym, ups, clean house, justiceforkobe.com

@June 3, 2022 9:16 AM (CST)

  • AoA: Yesterday we introduced ourselves. Who are we (from head, heart, gut)? I noticed in others that
  • head: virtues and flaws, résumé | what would be discussed in university? heart: vulnerable, connection | what are your life struggles in this present moment? what makes them struggles? gut: body speaking through sounds, most alive when… | who are you in the present moment?

  • head, heart, gut: intellect, mammalian, reptilian [this visual may help me]
  • @June 28, 2022 3:52 PM (CST) I did connection exercise, “I feel ___, and that’s okay.” When I identified a sensation in my body and spoke whatever emotion arose, I connected with my partner. I feel delighted — she really felt it.
  • What would this log look like from the heart? I struggle to speak from my heart. what makes me struggle? [through questions can get deeper] I like learning, I like understanding. what does learning look like from the heart? what prevents me from speaking from the heart at this moment? a desire to answer the initial question rather than act it out. Show me what acting it out is like. I want to be around these fellow students who open their hearts. I have hole in my life. I don’t linger with people long enough for myself to feeling sensations around them. That’s uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to solve and understand this hole for years. With the right realization I can fill the hole. I feel safe observing people from a distance. When they are at a distance, they can’t hurt me. I would rather be lonely than be hurt. So I cut myself, and I’m okay with that because I control the blade, you don’t. I treat people like objects. I objectify loved ones. And strangers. And children. I’m objectifying you now. I judge the objects. I rank the objects — which objects will fulfill this hole without hurting me? I feel my heart shriving into a rasin. I feel nerves in my chest for not knowing where this is leading I care for your approval. I care for your connection. I care for your love. I care to say hi to you. I care to sit and linger with you. I care to sit with you, be honest about the fears that arise from lingering, I care to share what I’m feeling with you. I care to feel my body near you. I care to do that even knowing you may judge me for it. I care to do that even knowing you may be uncomfortable with it. I care to do that even knowing I might lose you for it. I care to be close to you, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I care to stop cutting myself.

@June 2, 2022

Connection Group, what makes me put others above and below me?

grieving for my lost simple lives in Winona and with Laura

@June 2, 2022 3:10 PM (CST)

Types of Feedback:

  • questions to go deeper (point towards the story)
  • recognizing patterns in their writing (teaching to fish)
  • simple edits and possible words (showing new possibilities in writing)
  • WOP frameworks and concepts
  • Shiny Dime (big picture…) [I’m starting to think students learn less from big picture feedback than recognized patterns in their writing]

@June 2, 2022 2:06 PM (CST)

  • When asking a question about something you’re struggling with, historical context doesn’t always help and delays getting to the struggle. Instead how do you feel when you’re experiencing the difficulty? what thought patterns occur? what conflicting desires? what are you afraid of? consequences of action? These are the details that can be destructed.

@June 2, 2022 11:13 AM (CST)

Abstract ⇒ concrete spectrum, (described in an abstract way)

  • concepts
  • objective facts and descriptions
  • subjective descriptions (perceptions, thoughts, feelings, desires)
  • reactions to those perceptions, thoughts, feelings, desires
  • god

@June 2, 2022 11:05 AM (CST)

  • How can I spend least amt of time on the PC in this computer chair? #tweet

@June 1, 2022

WOP meetup - we talked about playing in shitty bands, welcoming hospitality, 10 day mediation retreats in a barn by yourself, dance, bike culture in Amsterdam, mimicking a podcast in real-time in fucking Chinese, and on and on crazy interesting people

Dairy Notebooks

March 2022
WoP8, San Diego (Andrew Bach),
14,677
February 2022
MT, AZ,
18,968
January 2022
3,505
May 2022
April 2022
13,758
December 2022
1,595

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