Brené Brown in Altas of the Heart lists 82 emotions and 13 “places we go”. I will curate the one’s most important to me.
What drives disappointment?
Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment. - Brené Brown
Expectations reduce the complexity of the world. Out of those, we create a story that we tell ourselves about what will happen. This navigates us through life.
The problem is the people in our life can’t watch those stories play out.
Unless we communicate it with them and share our expectations.
Expressing desires and expectations is a vulnerable act.
Showing the world what matters most to us, what we care most about, what we identify with, gives the world a key to our soul. We are saying, hey, look here, to hurt me, attack in this very spot. Tap it if you want to make me wince. Twist if you want me to squirm.
The flip side is also true. By showing the world what matters, you experience greater joys. With another person you can team up to manifest it. Together you share the joy of achievement. Roll around in it like happy pigs.
Here's a story Brené shared about a man in his sixties. He said:
I used to think the best way to go through life was to expect the worst. That way, if it happened, you were prepared, and if it didn’t happen, you were pleasantly surprised. Then I was in a car accident and my wife was killed. Needless to say, expecting the worst didn’t prepare me at all. And worse, I still grieve for all of those wonderful moments we shared and that I didn’t fully enjoy. My commitment to her is to fully enjoy every moment now. I just wish she was here now that I know how to do that.
Disappointment will happen either way. Do you choose to numb life or make every moment as alive as possible?